deepundergroundpoetry.com

Losing Everything to Addiction

Pills and potions could never fix
The unfixable. I was looking into
Your bloodshot eyes and realized
That I was losing you to the pain

You were trying to hide. You mix
And stir everything up. You drew
Me in, but you always despised
My sunshine and smiles. The rain

And cloudy skies were becoming
Too pitch black and ominous for
A twisted soul like yours to deal
With. You turned to your demons

Instead. They take the incoming
Light somewhere else. The floor
Becomes your home as you feel
The weight of the bottle. Seasons

Change, but you see a quick flash
Of your future in the grave alone
As you lost everything in the fire
Including love and light you once

Cherished. You wanted to clash
Over everything. I have shown
You every time the strong desire
To love yourself despite months

Of uncertainty should outweigh
Your yearning to drink yourself
Into oblivion. You chose living
With addiction instead of trying

To live soberly. You never pray
For grace or for filling your shelf
With good memories. Forgiving
Yourself is never easy, but dying

Should never be in the forefront
Of your mind. You lost the sun
While you were looking for any
And every ounce of darkness.

I can see through the cold front
As you are not fooling anyone,
Not even yourself. You lost many
People and your bleak starkness.

So do not blame me for whatever
You lost as you keep struggling
To stay afloat. You pulled the lever
On the war you gave up battling.
eswaller
Author's Note
Entry for aftermath of addiction competition.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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