deepundergroundpoetry.com
Toy story
1.
She told me
she had her faith
in my actions and
inactions
She told me
ours would be
a perfect world
and the next day
she made me wait
under-the-ten-storied-building
for five hours
and it rained
I walked back all the way
remembering Mr. Chaplin
and fell asleep
to sweet nightmares
that gave nothing at all
A little before midnight
I got up
called her number
munching on
leftover breakfast
I kept calling her
till my battery died
leaving a strange hollow
inside
a choke
a black hole
I took a long walk
in the glittering streets
and came back
in the wee hours
having really not
gone anywhere nor
achieved anything
A full swig of lukewarm rum
was all I needed
to go
blank
finally I could afford
the luxury of sleep
until hours later
her laughter woke me up
2.
It was just a dream
(how convinient)
where everything was white
and the grass was
fluorescent green
trite-tasteless
except for may be
the laughter
I kept dreaming her
even with open eyes
I dialed her number
w
a
i
t
e
d
Her-phone-rang
and I listened to it
her-caller-tune
(Bang-Bang my baby
shot me down)
until she picked it up
and something exploded
Lachrymal glands and
a simmering volcano
of manic rage
Or maybe just a mood swing
before she ended the phone call
she guffawed and
said 'Men!'
(In another world
akin to Charlie Sheen)
3.
For her I was just
another one
another rank experience
If a man is bad, it’s good
I could feel that way
Almost empathize
as he won't change
cause it's peaceful
a womb-a comfort zone
a rabbit hole
One such that he will
stay that way-stable
and if he is good,
then he might hang on
for awhile getting charred
by the high flames
I knew I was neither
good or bad
4.
I had read that
a man gets stronger
the more he's hated
not me-damn
I wiped the corner
of my eyes
took another swig-
long and full
after I got the text
which said,
‘It's over.’
The clock struck five
with the sun-
bleary-bleeding
The party was over
dreamspell gone
Was I in love
Was I used
Was I there
Another swig
to drown
the swelling tides
and another
to douse
the questions
5.
Pappa Sartre stared
right back at me
indifferent
as my stomach
shot up arcs of pain
on account of
the overworked and dying
liver of mine
A man hurting himself
not to get hurt
One last swig
it-was-all-over
The empty bottle rolled over
the crashed-crushed phone
it was but metal and plastic shards
Disillusioned I prayed for silence
chewing my lips to contain
the discomforting rain of pain
It was just a man and his pain
and whatever would not kill him
could kill him another time
Period
Another day-phone-bottle
Life could well be
a tapestry of patterns
while I was too busy
figuring and fighting
and thrown out like
a worn out toy
probably
a disfigured Teddy
with a
pulsating-crimson-heart-shaped-box
squeezed in
its outstretched hand
waiting to be mended
until next time
Snare drums-dramatic music-laughter
K. Cause you asked.
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