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Toy story


1.

She told me
she had her faith
in my actions and
inactions

She told me
ours would be
a perfect world


and the next day

she made me wait
under-the-ten-storied-building
for five hours

and it rained

I walked back all the way
remembering Mr. Chaplin

and fell asleep
to sweet nightmares
that gave nothing at all

A little before midnight

I got up
called her number
munching on
leftover breakfast

I kept calling her
till my battery died
leaving a strange hollow
inside

a choke
a black hole


I took a long walk
in the glittering streets
and came back
in the wee hours
having really not
gone anywhere nor
achieved anything

A full swig of lukewarm rum
was all I needed
to go
blank

finally I could afford
the luxury of sleep
until hours later
her laughter woke me up


2.

It was just a dream
(how convinient)

where everything was white
and the grass was
fluorescent green


trite-tasteless

except for may be
the laughter

I kept dreaming her
even with open eyes

I dialed her number

w
a
i
t
e
d

Her-phone-rang
and I listened to it

her-caller-tune

(Bang-Bang my baby
shot me down)


until she picked it up
and something exploded

Lachrymal glands and
a simmering volcano
of manic rage

Or maybe just a mood swing

before she ended the phone call
she guffawed and
said 'Men!'

(In another world
akin to Charlie Sheen)



3.

For her I was just
another one
another rank experience

If a man is bad, it’s good
I could feel that way
Almost empathize
as he won't change

cause it's peaceful
a womb-a comfort zone
a rabbit hole

One such that he will
stay that way-stable

and if he is good,
then he might hang on
for awhile getting charred
by the high flames


I knew I was neither
good or bad


4.

I had read that

a man gets stronger
the more he's hated


not me-damn

I wiped the corner
of my eyes
took another swig-
long and full

after I got the text
which said,

‘It's over.’

The clock struck five
with the sun-
bleary-bleeding

The party was over
dreamspell gone

Was I in love
Was I used
Was I there


Another swig

to drown
the swelling tides

and another

to douse
the questions

5.

Pappa Sartre stared
right back at me
indifferent

as my stomach
shot up arcs of pain
on account of
the overworked and dying
liver of mine

A man hurting himself
not to get hurt


One last swig

it-was-all-over

The empty bottle rolled over
the crashed-crushed phone
it was but metal and plastic shards

Disillusioned I prayed for silence
chewing my lips to contain
the discomforting rain of pain

It was just a man and his pain

and whatever would not kill him
could kill him another time


Period

Another day-phone-bottle

Life could well be
a tapestry of patterns
while I was too busy

figuring and fighting

and thrown out like
a worn out toy
probably
a disfigured Teddy
with a
pulsating-crimson-heart-shaped-box
squeezed in
its outstretched hand
waiting to be mended

until next time

Snare drums-dramatic music-laughter





K. Cause you asked.
Written by Whitewand6
Published
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