Damping down

He's waking up,
What's going down?
Still half cut - sorrows drowned.
Cardboard coaster,
He'll make it better,
Soon fit for nothing, make it bitter.

Units later, can take no more,
01:35 - falling through the door,
Laying on the couch,
Vomit on the floor.

Getting up, damping down,
Oblivious to sound, makeshift polythene ground,
Minus cushions on the couch,
Friends disallowed,
Vertical lines etched in my brow.

Woken up, not coming round,
Still half cut - not sorry somehow,
Not a single word uttered, what it is to be proud!
 
What's the reason? It's clear as beer,
The end of every day and living in fear,
Blades wielding, mum's shielding, fists flailing and nerves on the ceiling.

Endurance running out, she endured enough pain,
She dealt with the shame and needlessly took the blame,
Until she plucked up the courage and stepped out of the rain,
Then the sun came out and our lives were changed.

I pity him now and needn't get mad,
At the end of the day he's still my dad.
Ultra reliable, of that I'm sure, still pissing on the couch and shitting on the floor.

"I wrote this a while ago.  I know it's a crock of shite; I never liked it. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.  I'm now going to screw the piece of paper up and recycle it".

"Thanks for all you endured mum.  I know you did it for us".