Fat Cock Frank

I made my way out the window,
careful not to graze my knees.
'I nearly forgot protection!' I thought,
"I'll be needing these!"

I took out the condoms from behind my pillow,
all covered in silicon lacquer.
If I should run into trouble I thought,
I'll slide these onto my attacker.

You see something bad happened to a friend of mine,
he'd been attacked and went into septic shock.
The penicillin did nothing to aid his affliction,
from the attackers meaty rancid cock.

I thought about my friends,
and how many had been lost.
'I'll be safe' I thought,
no matter the cost.

Poor Harry I thought to myself,
he'll always be remembered.
They found him in the woods after three weeks,
disembowelled - drained and dismembered.

Kelly had been less fortunate,
but she'll always be covered in grace;
her attacker didn't molest her at least,
he only cut off her face.

Silly Gordon however,
I wouldn't give him the time of day.
His attacker wasn't too viscous,
just removed a couple vertebrae.

Christian had been not so lucky,
for his uncle he'd been boat-sitting.
I imagine the last thing he wanted that night,
was a good old-fashioned throat-slitting.

His attacker didn't stop there either,
he stopped to take a leak.
Of all the murderers in my neighbourhood,
he's the biggest freak.

I even join in on the game sometimes,
so I go out with a plastic spork.
My friends think I'm really dumb,
"Why not just use a fork?"

But they forget that I like a challenge,
and a spork has the capacity to scoop.
Eyeballs come out of sockets sometimes,
and make for an excellent soup.

James got whacked with a crowbar,
Pat got smacked with an axe.
Derek came back after class one night,
and he was missing his slacks.

He said he didn't want to talk about it,
but we all know what happened there.
Someone must have nabbed him in the alley,
and given his bottom a new tear.

So if we're cruising around at night,
we remember to keep a full tank.
Because the last thing we need is to break down,
and end up running into fat-cock Frank.

He's the most dangerous of them all,
because his weapon of choice is his dong.
He's somewhat of a legend around these parts,
people even made up a song.

They say it can break your jaw with one swing,
they say it can knock you out.
They say it weighs about twenty bricks,
but my mind is filled with doubt.