Schizophrenia

I had once cared for someone who had Schizophrenia maybe were both toxic
I don't know I took in his inner demons
I wasn't thinking with logic
was I dreaming

I have never been scared of him
I would provoke and challenge him I saw myself changing
you see around him his aura is dark
is there any good to me left remaining

so I like the different personalities It excites me
now thinking I'm definitely one of the weirdos
maybe that's why it felt comfortable I thought he was like me
he is something worse

he believes that he is a god
he also believes the everyone is out to get him
that he should be dead
or that everyone would be happy if he didn't exist

he never wanted to change
I thought maybe there was good in him
but int the end this life wasn't what I wanted
I have some issues as well in myself

I just didn't understand him
I couldn't be with the way of life he wanted
I wanted something more
I like to see his the devil or a demon

to him, I'm the demon the villain
when choices he's made prove that he didn't want our daughter
he doesn't see my reasoning
I don't feel he is stable I don't trust his family

before he wanted to be other places
am I suppose to accept someone who comes in and out
maybe when my daughter gets older she can decide
I'm just doing what I can

I don't wish him bad
but when he is gone I am glad
maybe what we both have is not a good match
I feel he created a monster in me

since we were young he didn't want me nice
so every time I'm around I feel like I want to be bad and hateful
he pushes me further I just don't know
it weird how I'm affected by that energy so much

one of my exes who is my real love keeps me stable
but this one makes me hateful