PURE LOVE

Come to me and speak aloud; l love your voice
"Your words combined with your smile are my rejoice."

Three notes:

1.  The meter in the first line is mixed:

COME to me (dactyl) and SPEAK (iamb)  aLOUD (iamb); l LOVE your VOICE (iambs) = 11 syllables


2. The meter in this line is clunky.

Your WORDS comBINED WITH your[/YOUR] SMILE are MY reJOICE.

and do not match up with the rhythms of any of your other lines.

3.  "Rejoice" is a verb.  You cannot possess -- as you are here claiming to do -- "a rejoice" since there is no such thing.

This is another unevocative, cliched, abstraction riddled diary entry in which you show your boring penchant for straitjacketing what you write in awkward/pedestrian rhyme.

Do you really think that this has the capacity to make a woman swoon and fall into your arms?

there is no such A thing. This is to show you that these blunders cannot be avoided when you are interested in lots of things. Correct your mistake.

This is another dodge of my remarks as well as a display of a lack of knowledge of English usage and idiom.  
 
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/there-s-no-such-thing-person-as  
   
https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/there+is+no+such+thing  
   
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/no%20such%20thing  
   
And you are hardly the person to tell me about "blunders" of phrasing or to decry the absence of an article in an expression, even if it were true that "a" was needed here.  
   
P.S.  I see that you implicitly acknowledged the validity of my note that you improperly used the verb "rejoice" in L2 as a noun by changing the wording of that line from  

"Your words combined with your smile are my rejoice."

to  
 
"Your words combined with your smile make me rejoice."

Perhaps now,you'll also acknowledge not only that the rhythm of the way you originally wrote that line was clunky, but also that the rhythm of your revision of that line is halting.

Your WORDS comBINED with your SMILE make ME reJOICE;
  

I knew, I knew, I knew
when I first heard your voice,
a velvet wing against my ear,
that I would be one forever lost
beyond myself.

The way you spoke
was then a  siren' song to me,
a man who always sought
the pleasured welcoming home holds.

I found home there.

For I became caught up within
your swirling, dark, and silken tones,  
their ravishings,
and then was made by them
to be unfit
to travel anywhere
away from all the magiked music
that you sounded on the air,

And now I have
no longer any wish to know
another havening than you.

*** note

This is not a paraphrase (which would be trying to say exactly what J-Z was attempting to say but in my own words).

I note that this thread has been read some 51 times -- and yet apart from my responses to the post that started it off,  no one else has posted any comments on it.  Now, I'm fairly sure that I'm not the only one on DUP who has read what J-Z wrote and/or what I noted in response to his piece.  Or am I?  
 
I'd like to get a grasp of how many people, if any, actually read what J-Z posts and/or only do so once I respond to what starts the thread.  
   
So, please, if you **have** read his piece and/or my responses,  will you please send "read it"  with a note of whose post(s)  you read to this thread?  
   
Thanks.