I'm Sorry..

Tired of this bullshit,
Tired of not being able to do shit,
I'm tired of looking into my brothers eyes and seeing straight pureness.
Clean your fucken ears and listen to what the fuck everyones saying,
your time is ticking,
You won't always be lucky with keeping your kids..
I wish I can just step in without having to argue in front of him.
I wish I can go back in time and tell you to not have this kid.
As much as a blessing he is.. he's taring me apart.
I'm 21 years old I wanted to live my life instead of having to worry about my mothers kid.
Put that needle down your child needs to be fed.
He needs a mother by his side,
he needs to live a life.
He needs someone to love him without getting high.
He needs a sister that can come see him without being worried if he's been neglected or mistreated since the last time she's seen him.
I can't call cps,
I'm worried about what place he'll go to next.
I'm worried I won't get enough visits again...
I'm worried that i'll see him once a year like the rest of the other kids...
I love you to death kid and i'm trying to figure how I can do this without you getting hurt in the end of this bullshit.