Knee-hobbling hobgoblin & The woes of Dr. Sphincter
Arthur peered out into the garden,
his days had lately been slow.
The recent passing of Mrs Sphincter,
had dealt an emotional blow.
The roses and marigolds were blooming,
the garden this time of year looked so pretty.
Spending his time out there reading his books,
had helped him to feel far less shitty.
Frail and slow as he'd become,
he remained a staunch and avid reader.
He opened the door once more to his haven,
to see a tiny bird perched on the feeder.
Arthur smiled and said 'Hello!',
in a tone used by someone admiring.
He'd been enjoying his book on cryptids so much,
he knew the next one would be worth acquiring.
He gently sipped his lukewarm tea,
listening to the songbirds in the distance.
He'd longed to see a mockingbird,
and hoped he'd be rewarded for his persistence.
Arthur gently rested himself in his lounger,
and stopped to admire the trees.
From out of nowhere a hobgoblin appeared,
and with a crowbar - shattered his knees.
"What the fuck!?" Arthur screamed in agony,
Clutching at his damaged legs.
"You've been hording spaghetti hoops!" screamed the goblin,
"and I'm here for the dregs!"
Arthur's eyes widened in disbelief,
he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
'I don't even like spaghetti hoops' he thought,
the pain in his legs still searing.
The hobgoblin just stood there and smirked,
"Your sharing skills are below par..."
"Now give me the fucking hoops" it shrieked,
"Unless you want another taste of this crowbar!"
Arthur grasped for his guitar to hit it with,
as he used to be in a band.
As his arm extended out to grasp it,
the creature twatted his brittle hand.
"Holy fuck you little prick!" Arthur yelped,
barely able to contain his distress.
The creatures eyes fixated on him,
"It's time to get undressed..."
The confusion, the pain and the threat,
Overwhelming his senile mind.
The hobgoblin lent over him and whispered,
"Don't worry - I'll be kind".