Talkin’ To Boss Weather

ah caught muhself talking to the clouds today
the low lying ones kept it a bit cooler than usual
 
so ah said “thank you Sirs” and
in return they stayed around all day
watchin’ me dig
 
when they begun to get dark and looking like rain
ah complained
“ah just need ten mo’ minutes to finish this bed”
 
old boss wind replied in a long mournful moan
 
so ah said  “quit complaining, ah’ve been working hard all day long what have you been doing’?”
 
well ah think that pissed sum body off
‘cause next thing ah know ah’ve got dust in muh eyes
and muh hat is a flying off to the next county
 
so ah figgured that was a message  
‘quittin’ time’
 
ah poured a glass of good vino
(six bucks a gallon) found a spot in the shade and
settled into muh favorite chase-lounger for happy hour
 
before ah’d even drunk one sip of that fine vintage
a dust devil blew by like a bat-out-of-hell
 
ah yelled, “wut thuh hay!
ah’ve earned my break fairn square yuh lazy bastard”
 
well, needless to say things didn’t get no better
 
gusts from the south breezes from the north and
ah-don’t-know-what swirled from every other direction
 
ah covered my drink and ran in the house
just as raindrops as big as marbles and
hail big as grapefruits began to pummel the roof
 
ah hunkered down and guzzled muh wine (for courage)
da house rocked and rolled and ah swear ah saw a tornado or two
 
for twenty minutes or more she screamed and howled
if ida been onna ship ah would have tied myself to the mast
 
but instead ah crawled under the bed (with another bottla wine)
 
well, the wind died down and eventually the sun came out and
now ah’m safe and sound
 
in rehab
for the next twenty-eight days
 
(can yuh sneak me a bottle durin’ visitin’ hours?)
 
© 2020