My Fate

Cigarette burning in the ashtray, room smells of sweat, it’s dark But I can still see your silhouette, laying in bed thinking about all the regrets, somethings I just can’t forget.  
 
With you I played Russian roulette. I always had a soft spot for a brunette, never pictured you as a threat. Did everything to not see you upset, yet I feel beat wishing I could reset. True feeling of defeat. I crawl under your bed sheet, inch close so I can feel your body heat, it makes me feel complete, my troubles take the backseat. Everything is bittersweet.  
But just like a repeat you start to retreat. You mistreat me, I stand up with tender feet, I know nothing about us is concrete.  
 
I have so much doubt, i want to shout. I walk to the bathroom to hideout, I’d cry but my eyes are having a drought. So I let out a sigh, I can’t take anymore of your lies, all your hurtful replies, so many times we said our goodbyes, but you always come back and sing me your lullabies. I see through your disguise, you’ll be my demise. I’ve become the person I despise. I better return to bed before you rise.  
 
I can still hear you snore as I walk across the hard wood floor. I swore this would be the last time I walked through this door. But I always come back for more, my body is sore, these feelings becoming hard to ignore. you left my heart charred with absolutely no regard, my whole world torn apart and you did it all right from the start, I never even put up a fight despite all the red flags that came to light. I’m not alright, I’m in love with a parasite.  
 
I was misled so many things left unsaid, bad feelings beginning to spread, starting to think I’d be better off dead, to many thoughts in my head. I lie in your bed but feeling nothing but dread. I know what waits ahead, I see all your toxic traits, if I stay with you my fate Is walking through hells gates.