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Our Addictions

You used to make me feel whole, now im just a lost soul, I lost all control, it was my heart that you stole, now Iím looking for the restart. Laying next to you in bed and still feel worlds apart.

The pain Iím feeling is off the chart, and the cocaine made you insane and I keep asking why I remain as I watch you miss your vein. Man, I really let my life go down the drain. †

This wasnít part of my plan, you pace the room checking the can, talking about ďif itís not there we gotta meet up with the middle man, ya know the one who drives the mini-vanĒ fuck, when did you become my boogeyman? Shit really hit the fan. †

This love is counterfeit. Come to think of it, Iím starting to think youíre full of shit, I should really take a run for the exit. But letís admit I canít quit and you wonít ever commit. I might not be clever  but I know you wonít stay forever, and even though Iím not alright, Iím happy I have you for tonight. †

Maybe tomorrow Iíll see the light and get rid of this parasite I hold so tight, sad part is you wouldnít even put up a fight, but until I take flight and do whatís right Ill kiss you goodnight and turn off the lamp light as I spend one more night, whisper ďsleep tight, donít let the bed bugs biteĒ †

but I canít sleep so I sit upright and ask myself, was it love at first sight? who picked the first fight? Was he always high as a kite? Why do you always make me cry? All I do is comply and retry as you deny. I can never satisfy. †

I hate myself because I stand by, turn a blind eye, help you keep your powder dry so you can get high until itís time to resupply, donít worry Iíll buy. You grab my thigh after you bang because the dope gives you gives you hope that you can finally cope...Nope, baby thatís a slippery slope. †

Youíre an addict and so am I. Need amphetamine to get dopamine, we both prefer our lines cut superfine, guess weíre not so different, maybe that why we intertwine. †

But I gotta confess iím depressed, sometimes I canít even get dressed, too stressed, I let these feelings go unaddressed, so I write to get it off my chest, hoping it will put my demons to rest. Iím getting to upset, feeling nothing but regret I need a cigarette, weíre playing Russian roulette, waking up in a cold sweat, youíre a triple threat, ainít no safe bet, heart breaking is your skill set. †

In the beginning I was mistaken, now I see you were faking, I was there for the taking. Fuck, now Your waking up and withdrawals got you shaking, throwing up. Showing the real you, Iíll continue to try to heal you, all while helping to conceal you from everyone who knows the unreal you. †

This isnít me, I fell asleep at the wheel, this shit is surreal. I wonít tell a soul I know this isnít ideal, but I canít reveal the monster you seal, heads will roll. I gotta climb outta this black hole before I lose control and reach for the pistol, I know itís fucking sinful. †

Please donít preach, I donít need a speech, happiness now feels out of reach. I just want some fucking peace. Iím tired of feeling numb, Iím nothing but scum, I turned Into a bum, donít even have an income. What the fuck has my life become? I threw it all away for man who doesnít love me, how can I be so dumb? †

Lord knows He comes and goes and each time the pain I feel grows. It fucking blows, but this is what I chose. Iíll always run back, heís more addicting than crack and Iíll be waiting for the next attack. Who knows if Iíll ever get off the wrong track.
Lo_bedda
Written by Lo_bedda (Lo Lo)
Published
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