brother

4 am:
i was crying on the floor for no apparent reason
i stare at the ceiling, an intense argument in my mind
i pick myself up and let myself drown

on the foot of my brother's bed
i thought i had mastered the intricate art of silent crying
but my trembling body woke him up
and he prompted me to spill what was overflowing

for a moment or two, i regretted that aired my show
and i convinced myself that he was like everyone else
so i forced my eyes to remain unopened
and wished to disappear for hours, seemingly years

i could not stop the dam
and the bed was flooded by my tears
he let me be, but he was there
and i knew

the sun started to glimpse at the earth
and everything ached
you are a magician, a wizard, a god
because to my surprise - you made me giggle

and i cried once again because you are magical
you brought my sanctuary and placed it beside yours
you carried my body so that it could rest
and we lay there - unquestioning souls having a silent conversation

i thought i had given everything
but once again, i was wrong
for when your toes brushed against mine
ever so slightly, my heart quietly sobbed

because you did not know
but you were there.
i thought about a lot of things
at a time where i shouldn't even be thinking

until i fell asleep, and woke up
just as the sun began to vanish
i felt heavy because the other side of the bed
was empty

still, i was thankful
because you kept something for me that night (morning?)
despite not knowing anything,
you were there.