disrupt my breathing

Think of you
All the time
It still saddens me
And i think, knowing me
Will always
Disrupt my breathing
My very being
That we will never
Experience one another
In real time
It is and will be
A most difficult task
To try to replace someone
Who is irreplaceable
And you, my dearest Sir
Are near, if not entirely
Irreplacable
I wanted you
So much it hurt
I cried deep,
Painful tears for you
And, as i write this
I am again
In tears, near breathless
Wanting you so
And yet, joy
Is and has been
Very much a part
Of my feelings for you
I told you
From the get go
That no matter
The consequence
You must not stop
I wanted you
I was desperate
For you
I loved you
I still do
And, really
You and I have shared
Many thoughts, ideas
Fantasies
Poetic expressions
Of nothing
But the highest order
Of a most beautuful
Sensual love affair
You see, my fine Sir
I know, you cannot
Write or paint
What you gave to me
Without some measure
Of loving me
You are an
Incredible human being
And a man of integrity
Wisdom and charm
You are the absolute best
Let no one tell
You differently
You will not ever
Not even for a moment
Be the same
From whence we first met
And I am not the same either
My writings
Are improved
Like you, I will not ever
Be the same
I am now much better
Feel better equipped
Am more competent
Albeit not confident
This is not finished
Much to say to you
Much want you to hear
Must always stay in contact
Cannot be any other way