deepundergroundpoetry.com
Constellations
She will be as the stars
Beautiful and bright
Flickering like a kiss to your eyes
She will carry your burdens
And hear your cries
As she illuminates the night
So small, so distant, they are
Those who leave love and warmth in your heart
Gone like a comet, too soon
Make a wish, maybe they’ll return soon
If you ever should doubt, your place in the world
Look to the sky, trace each dot
She’s a constellation
Hard to spot
Wherever you roam
There she drifts
On the horizon
Guiding you home
Beautiful and bright
Flickering like a kiss to your eyes
She will carry your burdens
And hear your cries
As she illuminates the night
So small, so distant, they are
Those who leave love and warmth in your heart
Gone like a comet, too soon
Make a wish, maybe they’ll return soon
If you ever should doubt, your place in the world
Look to the sky, trace each dot
She’s a constellation
Hard to spot
Wherever you roam
There she drifts
On the horizon
Guiding you home
Published 9th Jul 2020
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likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 418
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
9th Jul 2020 5:57pm
What a lovely and tender meditation. The imagery alone is so enticingly inviting.
In the spirit of honest critique, I would suggest one thing:
Gone like a comet, too soon
Make a wish, maybe they’ll return soon
Do you really need that second 'soon'?
In the spirit of honest critique, I would suggest one thing:
Gone like a comet, too soon
Make a wish, maybe they’ll return soon
Do you really need that second 'soon'?
9th Jul 2020 6:59pm
I enjoyed this muchly; it is very lyrical ( in my mind at least ).
In the spirit of honest critique as well, I suggest removing "like" from Line 3.
From
"She will be as the stars
Beautiful and bright
Flickering like a kiss to your eyes"
to
"She will be as the stars
Beautiful and bright
A flickering kiss to your eyes"
In the spirit of honest critique as well, I suggest removing "like" from Line 3.
From
"She will be as the stars
Beautiful and bright
Flickering like a kiss to your eyes"
to
"She will be as the stars
Beautiful and bright
A flickering kiss to your eyes"
