Let them fade

These old habits
get ingrained
into the soul
into the brain
your given the choice to
let them fade or reign supreme
to eternally enslave
as you downgrade
and downplay your destruction
especially in the midst
of this emotional eruption..

Fluctuation of feelings
and levels of self control,
you live in the realm of randomness,
of pain..of love.. of soul..
dealing with all on a daily basis,
still learning to
adjust and adapt
to this craziness casting a shadow
on serenity with it's intensity
increasing..
but you make the moments matter
or let them slip swiftly away
and move about miserably..
knowing it's a choice
 you beat and berate yourself
when your at the bottom,
still knowing that it was you
who brought yourself this low,
you like to believe that
you don't know how it got to this point
once more..

It's cyclical, occuring in
different densities.
You come to realize after lingering
in this loop too long that
you put this all upon yourself,
you analyze and amplify
the overwhelming stress and sorrow,
you dig the hole deeper and deeper
you bury yourself alive
as you question just
how will you survive
this all..