soul

 
solemn smiles pierce the soul
in my lying times, I hide my face
so open you know when I look away...the truth of me
a faded flower you plucked in my youth
I was so sure of right and wrong back then

then the grey shaded areas moved in
a shadow with long-reaching fingers
pulling me to the edge
I teetered as you watched on helpless

I live with regrets
I don't want to hurt you
you love me still to this day
I don't know why
I don't trust myself with you
I don't trust myself not to hurt you

I see your hopeful eyes
and I want to hope with you
but I know there is no hope of being her
the woman you need

I die inside my omissions
holding onto you desperately
I won't survive losing you