if you stare to long into the abyss

...love, ignorane...complete fucking bliss..
head filled with nothing but the
touch of you on my skin...
       something do dark its got me writing love songs.
embrasing passion with careless ease, trying to find love in everyone else...because it damn sure dosent sit well with me
    ...let me nowhere else but inside you...
creatures of love! desist!...your lives are bound to be short ones, branded with the fire of pain....
rip away my heart and fill it with ice to cool the inferno inside, serenade an existance, make it something beautiful, acceptible, forthwright, nothing else but a head change of a burnt out world that has lost its passion
in the middle of a war, fighting on the frontlines of loves side,....sometimes id rather just fade into the bacground....leave the dying up to those who dont enjoy the pain of self as much......people that live inside memories....
but this...keeps poping into my mind......when i was in her arms, i felt safe....and it seems ironic that my mind is filled with you, but someone so close to me dosent even know my name....
  the instinctual survival skills of a well timed hand on a well placed sholder reminds me of the beauty that is love and i come to realize....im tired of hurting....
  and a well tied rope around a willing neck reminds me that it could all be over if i so willed....but fuck, this is life, right? and sometimes this....pain....is all we have to remind us that we are alive...
then i realize it hurts ten times more to love yourself than it does to love everyone else, because everyone else dissapoints you..occasionally, but you dissapoint yourself 100 times a day...
    laughter is a sound so practiced, and distinctly familiar....it hurts the ears,  and again i am forced into everyone elses masquerade....fake bullshit....because nothing else matters to them accept earths joys...a truely disgusting thing, even tho i can attempt to make it beautiful with my writing...