She was sunrise

I've never been the same since she died. Ever since I look at things differently like as if I'm looking from a shell at a world around me. Mostly observing
Not interacting. Just kinda coasting. It takes a lot of energy to hide the pain.
She was there even when I was a jerk. Which during high school was a lot.
I'm grateful for the chance to make things right during her last 9 months.
There was a lot of misunderstandings and resentments throughout the years.
Some people don't get that chance. By the end she was the closest person to me. Every chance I get I stop by her grave and cry still. Usually it's while walking home after hours after I get myself stranded but I don't mind. I usually hop the little wall. And go right in. Or the guy that locks up locks me in and tells me to hop the wall to leave. I wonder if she knows I'm there. Probably not
When I was going to school I would always hear her voice as if she was standing behind me while I'd be working on a client. In the weeks before she past
Ever word she ever said ever memory started playing in my head.
It sounds crazy but after she died I went and picked up her ghost
In case she was stuck and brought her home with me.
At the time she probably said fuck this and left
With no body to slow her down
I just miss her.....