deepundergroundpoetry.com
When the Silent Crow has Flown
I dance with him, a stranger still—
A figment of my mind
The song a hymn of meager skill—
Composed of words in rhyme
He takes the lead yet I resist—
I know this dance by heart
The words he needs cannot exist
While ink and parchment part
We dance a while
And rest a while
I struggle—What to Say?
The cat has come
And got my tongue
Perhaps another day
The dance goes on and he grows strong—
My ardor gives him strength
Each liaison gives girth and brawn—
His wit, more class and depth
When the silent crow has flown
Then I’m no longer lonesome
Because my lad has finally grown—
And he's such a handsome poem!
A figment of my mind
The song a hymn of meager skill—
Composed of words in rhyme
He takes the lead yet I resist—
I know this dance by heart
The words he needs cannot exist
While ink and parchment part
We dance a while
And rest a while
I struggle—What to Say?
The cat has come
And got my tongue
Perhaps another day
The dance goes on and he grows strong—
My ardor gives him strength
Each liaison gives girth and brawn—
His wit, more class and depth
When the silent crow has flown
Then I’m no longer lonesome
Because my lad has finally grown—
And he's such a handsome poem!
Published 30th Jun 2020
Author's Note
http://columbiareviewmag.com/2019/03/writers-block-dickinson-and-the-interior/
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 12
reads 652
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
30th Jun 2020 9:01pm
Sir Reggie, that was an excellent verse and ode to Emily.
Good luck in the comp.
Good luck in the comp.
1st Jul 2020 2:49am
Thank you for noticing! It was something a bit out of form for me, but necessary when emulating Emily Dickinson. Her work is filled with slants that soften the language just enough to meet the emotional perspective of the piece. Here, I'm merely aping her style -- I don't have the skill to fully pull it off.
Ordinarily my poems are strongly narrative, and humor is usually my goal. I therefore intentionally avoid slant rhyme unless I absolutely need a word to advance the story. The reason I avoid slants are that, in my opinion, rigorous meter and rhyme work to instill a bit of absurdity that otherwise the narrative alone would have to carry. Its a bit like Weird Al's music: His band are the best, and can often perform the instrumental part better than the original artists. Al is adamant in interviews that unless the music is perfect in every respect, his parodies would be diminished.
Ordinarily my poems are strongly narrative, and humor is usually my goal. I therefore intentionally avoid slant rhyme unless I absolutely need a word to advance the story. The reason I avoid slants are that, in my opinion, rigorous meter and rhyme work to instill a bit of absurdity that otherwise the narrative alone would have to carry. Its a bit like Weird Al's music: His band are the best, and can often perform the instrumental part better than the original artists. Al is adamant in interviews that unless the music is perfect in every respect, his parodies would be diminished.
1st Jul 2020 9:57pm
That's interesting. I'm not read in any authors or poets in particular. To be honest I have no idea how deep the hole goes in terms of any one's particular styles and methods, so it's interesting to hear your thoughts on it.
I do personally enjoy slant rhyming a lot. I like writing and reading in smooth, rhythmic cadences, understanding there is a time and place for these thing.
some people just like extra butter on their toast though, so these things goes.
I do personally enjoy slant rhyming a lot. I like writing and reading in smooth, rhythmic cadences, understanding there is a time and place for these thing.
some people just like extra butter on their toast though, so these things goes.
4th Jul 2020 11:25am
5th Jul 2020 4:09am
10th Jul 2020 4:03am
10th Jul 2020 11:47am
29th Jul 2021 3:06pm
Loved this, Reggie. A bit of a departure from your usual subject matter, but you brought your impeccable rhyme skills to the table. All together a fantastic and fun read. Good luck in the comp :)
29th Jul 2021 6:25pm
6th Aug 2021 5:27pm
Very nice good sir. Excellent meter and rhyme. Ballad meter were it not for the middle stanza. Never thought of mixing stanza types myself. I ussually stay uniform but i like this. Almost a lilting break from the metronome before the song starts again. Great quality of rhyme amd good metaphore make this a joy to read. Bravo Poet.
6th Aug 2021 10:51pm
Thank you so much!
The middle stanza is a bit of a prank… if not for a few extra line breaks, it would be ballad meter as well! I had written it that way at first but decided that, with the internal rhyme, I could break it up as a kind of sigh before finishing. Indeed, I could have done the same for all except the last stanza, because the last stanza has no internal rhyme…
The middle stanza is a bit of a prank… if not for a few extra line breaks, it would be ballad meter as well! I had written it that way at first but decided that, with the internal rhyme, I could break it up as a kind of sigh before finishing. Indeed, I could have done the same for all except the last stanza, because the last stanza has no internal rhyme…
