Maybe if...

Maybe if I hadn't mumbled under my breath the word no he would have stopped.
Maybe if I had been braver and raised my voice when he kept pushing me closer I wouldn't have been so hard to hear
Maybe if I hadn't worn those pants that made me feel beautiful within my curves I wouldn't have enticed his mind
Maybe if my hand wouldn't have been still, if my heart wasn't pounding, if my eyes weren't crying, maybe if I didn't look so afraid he would have taken the word no seriously.
Maybe if I took my frozen body and pushed him when his hands grabbed me maybe I could have ran away.
Maybe if his weight on top of me wasn't like a ton of bricks to the chest I could have fought back.
Maybe if my brain didn't anxiously allow him to convince me that I deserved this violation I would have had the strength to fight.
Maybe if.