the stars in your eyes

i have never been one to chase    
a thing—human or creature
in mid-flight;
that will never change   
i respect another's space    
too much to encroach    
after they've pulled away    
perhaps it's because    
i've been caged—    
stalked, shadowed    
harassed, chained    
when every window    
or cracked floorboard    
became a dream    
i thought you were stronger    
infused with garden roots    
of your own sowing—    
but, you were just a fledgling    
with stars in your eyes    
a scent of fallibility    
overpowering your senses    
when it crash-landed    
into a human i'd never denied    
i know the stench of an excuse    
within an earthworm's gritty fluid—    
the one where any re-write    
of memory manifested    
serves as justification    
for a person's actions    
where a graceful letting go    
—a wishing all well and good    
is interpreted as abandonment      
for anger to gestate    
even if the other left first—    
without one word, just chose to go    
citing those who've hurt them—    
without giving one thought    
to those they've hurt    
i was born during war    
its influence permeates    
this old soul    
my ruler is Mars    
and Pluto    
i do not fear blood    
letting go    
or being alone    
i miss the you    
i once knew—    
the cultivator of beauty    
and birdsong    
but refuse to judge    
your growth—    
you're not done    
and because my eyes    
are void of stars    
i see what it is    
and will be    
and was    
peace. . .    
as if it ever existed    
in this place—    
as though absence    
could restore    
a thing that never was    
to begin with    
maybe the Universe    
will grant your wish    
so the reminder of your choice    
isn't so in-your-face    
you left—are gone    
yet still hold on    
i am here    
should you ever return    
i remember saying that    
when you left    
i'm still here if you don't—    
within the perimeters    
of my own lot      
i love you regardless    
Love doesn't alter    
when it alteration finds—
unless one's eyes    
were clouded with stars    
Written by Ahavati
Published | Edited 24th Jun 2020
Author's Note
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All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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