When My Faith Was Shaken

It was when I looked love in the eye, but    
I could not put my heart in it one hundred  
Percent anymore. Love can put me in a rut    
I could never get out of. It has plundered    
    
Me and left me empty like a house with no    
Foundation. I lost that faith when I walked    
Away from one person I wanted to grow    
Old with for eternity. I thought and talked    
   
About him as if he was still here with me    
Now. I lost that faith when I was going to    
Lose a friendship I built from scratch. He    
Could never see past the wall I would redo    
   
And repaint a different color every day.    
The faith I thought I felt within my bones  
And was becoming a part of me like a ray    
Of sunshine became heavy like the stones    
   
Or rocks we kept in our collection. Love    
Became the tea kettle on the back burner    
And my dreams of beginning a family of    
My own were nonexistent. I was a yearner    
   
For stability and growth, but I could not    
Do it anymore as seasons were changing    
Frequently. I could not keep up. The knot    
In my stomach and all the feelings ranging    
   
From happiness to sadness to everything    
In between were not going away anytime    
Soon. I really tried to push myself and fling    
Myself into whatever erased your grime    
   
And smell off of me. I lost my faith once I    
Pretended to be happy instead of being    
Lonely and insecure in my skin. I would fly    
Close to the sun as my faith was fleeing    
   
The scene like a criminal. It left me to find    
My way across the broken glass instead    
Of staying through the night as my mind    
Was always going elsewhere. In my head    
   
My thoughts stopped looking for love and    
Connections I could make with others    
Because the truth is although my hand    
Is open nothing else is. The blanket covers    
   
Are safer than walking down the street on    
Legs with broken faith and lots of mistrust    
In love. I would rather have people gone    
Rather than staying around to love or lust    
   
After the girl with the broken and troubled    
Heart. Doubts were shining or glistening.    
My faith should have grown and doubled    
In size, but my faith was only diminishing    
   
As the days lingered. Sometimes love was  
Just enough to get through the roughest    
Of days, but my faith was shaken as flaws    
Were fully exposed and even the toughest    
   
Of smiles did nothing in a world with liars    
And everyone who also pretended to hide    
Behind their smiles. My faith, more like fire    
Than water was burned into ash and died.