Should I leave my honesty unspoken for the sake of truth
When vulnerability finds me here, I live in a question
So sure of what I know for a mother's love that affirmed me
Yet evidenced beyond sentiment unto confidence derived of experience

But there are still things I do not understand
Left in a place of trusting despite disappointed expectations
Life changing events of free will and consequence
Still failing to reconcile reason to faith
Where the same that shakes me is what teaches me to believe

When our sight is our blindness my eyes are sand
Weighing reality like a puzzle against a piece for a moment in the vapor
Overwhelmed by the frailties of my emotion based in limited perception
To tell you my honesty but not the truth
As I relinquish all the right answers to my trivial cry
How do I believe when hope at times feels like a lie?

From broken homes to death beds at the mercy of the cancer
I don't blame God for the sins of father's
Nor the affliction of what ails our hearts and minds
But I'm still learning to have confidence in promises
When so many of them equate to what seems as if to come up empty

I've been resigned to silence for fragile bonds and my will to move on
But to tell you the truth broken homes are life long fractures in our hearts
Nevertheless I pick up where we are right now
Faced with familiar feelings of absence
From abandon to misconceptions of divine negligence

All I am left with are why's in desperation without interrogation
When my pride comes under the scrutiny of a question
Just who am I to deduce the intentions of God
When death is the manifestation of salvation
Healing comes by way of our final breath

Still premature it feels when my prayers go unanswered, do I ask amiss
How do I reconcile what eats the brain and a lifetime taken with a God of goodness?
Blameless for the diagnosis but for what seems like a withheld cure
Was it meant to be and why have You forsaken her?

In the fine lines of lies or just perceptions of a misunderstanding
I've got no grounds on which to assume You owe what I'm demanding
I'm left here in the mystery for a silence that tries my faith
Learning to trust despite the way it doesn't go according to my own plan
In the stillness knowing You are God and I am just a man...
Written by cloventongue89 (Nathaniel Peter)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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