I smoke until I feel happy. (getting by)

I stop when I can breathe
After the weight of the world is lifted
 from my heart
(That's the depression.)

I stop when the thoughts stop-
Overthinking and Overanalyzing
every interaction I've had...

(the anxiety)

...since the last time I got high enough
To cry myself to sleep
Sweet release in the deep sobbing
(...it has to hurt to be forgiven...)

  (that's a secret)

I always felt calm
In her warm embrace
(it's been years since we touched)
but time ages

I am no more sage than wise
I am lost between cold dreams
and the empty caress of nostalgia

I have held regrets
That weren't mine
And wear their tatters
Against the judging stare
of my own mind

I am reborn each morning
to walk naked through the brambles of
 each day
(and that's fine)