Conflicted

so here we sit
the years fall away
all I see is you
waking to your touch
do you remember
those days?

lifting my ass as I get close
such a young kid
yet all my buttons knew your strokes

so many years and the game has changed
are you trying to recapture our youth and pretend we're the same?

no? not the same
entirely different game
yet you still make me ache
are you really real? Or just a prank?

we always played a kids game
but here we are, all grown up
understanding it's so much more
do I dare give you my heart?

will you be fleeting as we age?
because I can no longer
be your sexual mage

my heart is opening like a tulip in bloom
can you really love me?
or is it only sex and your urge to resume?

I don't know, the answers aren't clear
all I know is you make me feel safe
I need you to draw me near

I want to love you, until my days run out
lying in the circle of your arms
safe, no worries, no doubts

My God! Zsweet man
I need to call you out
I truly want the best for you
your wife, your heart,
you must not discount

but here I am, wanting you in sin
in every picture, with your sweet youthful grin

How can I love you? true love wants the best
I want your happiness
so be true to your wife
and forget me as a mistress

but before you walk away...
I can't help it, We are two of a kind
the drive within me, I'm losing my mind

I want you to caress me
and make love to my soul
I know it's all wrong
I know I'm not your girl

but my carnal desires still drive me wild
I want you to want me
as I lay beneath you completely beguiled

things are entirely different
our lives have completely changed
life creates complications and it's no longer a game

 I ache to be with you
no matter what the costs
but because I TRULY LOVE YOU
that line I cannot cross

if in sincerity I bare my soul to you
no matter how wrong this is
I want to wrap my soul within you

I'm giving you control
as to what we're going to do
I hate to be your temptress
I want the best for you

so walk away and know that I'm rooting for you
or stay and enter a pact
a lifetime together, known only by us two