Bittersweet Musings/Ramblings

As I lie in the dark,
My eyes adjusting, looking for anything in the room, any landmark,
Anything I can recognize,
By shape or size,
I think about my future.
How my heart does long to nurture,
To nurture the love it does harbor,
To no longer keep to itself, it's long fostered ardor,
And to receive compassion, kindness, and ardor, back,
Which is why I wear a war paint of boneblack.
I haven't given up this fight,
I know this is right,
Everyday, I see more and more signs,
And things that make me think of you, why, just to-day, on my lunch break, within the confines
Of my computer screen,
Was the sweetest sight I've ever seen.
I was playing the Sims 4,
A new household I've never played in before,
A husband and wife (Hamish, and Sabrina)
(It's always fun to make one of the Sims look like me, silly I know, bla, bla, bla)
(I even have a hight mod so my character can be short like in real life (I'm 5' 1/2" tall))
I really thought nothing of it, nothing at all,
Until I saw it, that morning they tried, but then that nightfall,
They succesfully accomplished "Try for baby".
And then there was my Sim, inspired and painting at her easel, so happy,
She was in her second trimester,
And just a ways from her, was the father,
Sitting at their computer, I clicked nothing, and he turned around to talk to her,
His long, red hair, flowing over his shoulder (I had to make his gender marker female, though everything else was male, for more long hair options,
Just some silly gendered nonsense)
He blew her a kiss,
She looked at him, and giggled, and I couldn't help but notice
Just how happy they were,
How loving, sweet, and pure.
I clicked nothing so
I could see how this conversation would go.
As she painted, they talked lightly flirtatiously,
And very excitedly,
About their new baby,
They were so in love, and so happy.
Later at one point, when my Sim had just finished eating and was watching TV,
It was a thing of beauty,
Hamish walked all the way across the house from the bedroom, just to give her a kiss,
Then all the way back, it was pure bliss.
And when all my work was done,
I went back on the game, I just couldn't stay too long gone.
I played for a little while longer,
Then came another sweet encounter,
My Sim started to cook, but got distracted, and left the tray on the floor,
She went to go pick it up, but being in her third trimester, couldn't bend down to reach the floor,
So Hamish came over and helped her clean it up.
Then when the baby was born, it happend to be a boy, and I named him Granville,
A name, I will reveal,
Is on the list of possible names for my future child(ren),
And as soon as they arrived home, with compassion,
Hamish took his son in his arms, and bottle fed and then rocked him,
While my Sim
Took a short nap, being exhausted, and he cooed and giggled at his dad,
Before falling asleep back in his crib, that was when I quit, I cried, I felt sad,
...Well, rather, bittersweet,
The way they all looked at each other was so sweet,
That's what I've wanted since I was a child,
To have a career (preferably from home), a spouce to look lovingly into their eyes, a home of our own and at least one child
(Preferably a few)
Especially ever since I saw you.