In between feelings!

Lately it's like I'm in this weird in-between stage,
Of who I used to be and who I am becoming  
There's old habits that I'm having a hard time letting go,  
Old patterns that I keep falling back into  
A former persona that I still write poetry about
Curiosity inside my bones that just won't let me be still    
Intolerable vowels I can never take back    
A sensitive artistic opinionated shy self that I'm still trying to figure out    
Thoughts i gotta turn into art    
Art that needs painting  
Paintings that require frames  
Frames that need to be hung onto these walls
Places  I have to run away from    
Abandoned parks I've gotta stop visiting alone at sunset    
Doors I ought to keep shut    
Voices in my head that need to shrink    
Missed steps that I'm trying to retrace    
Wrong turns that I'll probably never get to right    
Apparently, belly fat to lose, Lmfao  
Pieces of me that I need to collect from this and that other persons  
People I want to heal from,    
Toxic friends that I need detox from  
Lost souls to whom I can nolonger play 'God'    
Beautiful souls in my life that I can never get to reward enough  
A deserted heart that pumps venom and spite
Answers that i need to seek, to questions i probably shouldn't even ask    
Like which exact market stall sells the ingredients for happiness??    
A wild dream that I'll one day get to say I'm okay and actually mean it (goddammit.!.)