Fake

You're knocking, but no one is home.
You will never be allowed inside.
This is MY pain, MY tears, MY rejected soul,
MY fucking place to sit and hide.

So, you would like admittance, please?
Holding your hand out for the backstage pass.
Keep tearing off those thick layers hoping
To see who I really, truly am...at last.

But this closet has the strongest deadbolt,
Bullet proof windows, and sound proof walls.
No peephole for you all to watch and laugh
While I take another god damn fall.

Go to work diligently on the door
With your hammers, saws, and hatchets.
Finally sending for a locksmith
When you fail to find the key that fits.

You leave just long enough to rest
Before you come back to try again.
To expose my every failure to the world.
To prove to me that I'll never win.

I wake my doppelganger with a firm shake,
Hand her a cigarette and a cup of strong coffee.
Make her swallow a handful of jagged pills
That will make her what they all want her to be.

Apply the makeup carefully to cover
The constant, flowing tears of this clown.
Make her show me her pearly whites, and
Shove her out the door quickly to calm them down.

They gather in the front yard just in time
To watch her make a late appearance.
She apologises profusely and leads them away
To make them forget they want clearance.

They sigh with relief, seeing no tears or wounds.
They break their arms patting each other's backs so hard.
Doppelganger stumbles in, and makes her way back to bed,
Until they come back snooping around in her yard.