deepundergroundpoetry.com
ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me just a little more than i should allow ~
{iv}
flirting with gash'd lashes
{maybe
just a little
once
briefly}
an embryo in the disect'd belly ov a pomegranate
seed'd as i was by you in that moment
{iii}
tissue paper memoria circle the drain in my bath full
ov cocaine & kerosene_
i clean my whoring wounds with disolving love letters
& it matters not that words disperse in anemone tendrils
ov curiosity
{ii}
lick the crisis from my lips,
i have all my buttons pretzel'd
{i}
there is a part ov me,
all gauze & fairy lights,
i want to leave in your hair
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 10
comments 15
reads 311
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
27th May 2020 8:34pm
Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
27th May 2020 8:38pm
I do so miss this raw style when you are away😥 Brava, mon tres belle amie❣❣ I was touched most by this passage,
"it matters not that words disperse in anemone tendrils
ov curiosity "
"it matters not that words disperse in anemone tendrils
ov curiosity "
1

Re: Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
4th Jun 2020 4:31am
Re: Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
4th Jun 2020 2:26pm
hiiiiii, welcome to my side of the sandbox :) thank you so very much for reading me and leaving your thoughts 🖤
Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
27th May 2020 9:12pm
In cerebral moments of euphoria we allow the mind to wander where the body wishes to fly
3

Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
27th May 2020 9:13pm
"i clean my whoring wounds with disolving love letters"
Such bloody dark and brilliant, a line
bravo
J
Such bloody dark and brilliant, a line
bravo
J
2

Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
28th May 2020 6:19am
Dear K,
Your entire piece is epic. Stanza {ii} is killer. I shouldn't be commenting yet as I don’t have all my thoughts fully formulated but...it’s an amazing piece. I love the pomegranate and pretzel association and then even the title of the work is stop the world interesting. As usual I truly admire your formatting. Captivating- the entire work. H🌷
Your entire piece is epic. Stanza {ii} is killer. I shouldn't be commenting yet as I don’t have all my thoughts fully formulated but...it’s an amazing piece. I love the pomegranate and pretzel association and then even the title of the work is stop the world interesting. As usual I truly admire your formatting. Captivating- the entire work. H🌷
1

Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
28th May 2020 7:06pm
Doesn't matter who You spill for in this wonderful puddle
each reader can decide and / or envision thereof...................
each reader can decide and / or envision thereof...................
2

Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
31st May 2020 3:47pm
Very nice poem.
... ...
I like the following verses:
" lick the crisis from my lips,
i have all my buttons pretzel'd ..."
... ...
I like the following verses:
" lick the crisis from my lips,
i have all my buttons pretzel'd ..."
1

Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me jus
1st Jun 2020 1:22pm
What's with the apostrophes in "dissected" and "seeded"?
The Shakespearean era apostrophe is unnecessary nowadays, because we don't normally pronounce the e in regular past tense verbs now anyway. But in words like "dissected" and "seeded", it's impossible to miss out the e, because that would make the word unpronounceable.
dissectttttd...
seeddddddddddddd....
Know what I mean, mate?
The Shakespearean era apostrophe is unnecessary nowadays, because we don't normally pronounce the e in regular past tense verbs now anyway. But in words like "dissected" and "seeded", it's impossible to miss out the e, because that would make the word unpronounceable.
dissectttttd...
seeddddddddddddd....
Know what I mean, mate?
1

Re: Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me
you miss'd "gash'd" {&} "pretzel'd", mate
also miss'd the pourtunity to point out my use ov ov in lieu ov of
it's just part ov my style, along with much punctuation abuse...
... 'part from me explaining my schtick to you, was there something constructive you were meaning to add to this[?]
or were ya just here for light n mints [?]
enquiring minds would like to know
also miss'd the pourtunity to point out my use ov ov in lieu ov of
it's just part ov my style, along with much punctuation abuse...
... 'part from me explaining my schtick to you, was there something constructive you were meaning to add to this[?]
or were ya just here for light n mints [?]
enquiring minds would like to know
Re: Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me
1st Jun 2020 8:18pm
I think it is indeed constructive to point out that "dissect'd" and "seed'd" are unpronounceable. You need the e there. There doesn't seem to be any reason for getting rid of it, other than to give the poem a mock-Tudor appearance.
"gash'd" and "pretzel'd" are OK, because they do not need an e. But between two d's, or a t and a d, there must be a vowel sound of some kind, just in order to make the word pronounceable.
I would accept "dissectoid". Or "seedood".
"gash'd" and "pretzel'd" are OK, because they do not need an e. But between two d's, or a t and a d, there must be a vowel sound of some kind, just in order to make the word pronounceable.
I would accept "dissectoid". Or "seedood".
1

Re: Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me
1st Jun 2020 8:47pm
had i thought i needed a vowel there, i would have includ'd one...
... not for want ov recreating or making use ov any style as i (personally/mostly) shun the use ov set styles {&/or} rhyme schemes {the latter which i [again personally] find juvenile] but more power to all the dr. suess fans out there
this is how i write
not for a lack ov understanding proper grammar {&/or} punctuation but for the love ov both {&} bending them as i see fit.
this is not likely to change as i am happy with how i structure {&} stylize my poetry
if my style is not your cup ov sencha, that's just peachy with me {&} i appreciate the time you took to take umbrage with it {&} thank you for being irk'd enough to comment
... not for want ov recreating or making use ov any style as i (personally/mostly) shun the use ov set styles {&/or} rhyme schemes {the latter which i [again personally] find juvenile] but more power to all the dr. suess fans out there
this is how i write
not for a lack ov understanding proper grammar {&/or} punctuation but for the love ov both {&} bending them as i see fit.
this is not likely to change as i am happy with how i structure {&} stylize my poetry
if my style is not your cup ov sencha, that's just peachy with me {&} i appreciate the time you took to take umbrage with it {&} thank you for being irk'd enough to comment
Re: Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me
2nd Jun 2020 7:51am
Dr Seuss, Shakespeare, what's the difference, eh?
Both juvenile, with their silly rhyme schemes...
Both juvenile, with their silly rhyme schemes...
0

Re: Re. ignore this... i'm half past drunk {&} you're confusing me
2nd Jun 2020 10:22am