deepundergroundpoetry.com

Depression

I've been "okay", for a while now.
But here I am crying to a song because it reminds me of my dead friend.
I've been "great", for a while now.
But here I am trying to just wake up in the morning, some days wishing I didn't wake up.
I've been "fantastic", for a while now.
But here I am falling back into my old habits.
I've been "not feeling any anxiety", for a while now.
But here I am back to constantly fidgeting with something.
I've been "not feeling any bouts of depression", for a while now.
But here I am trying to shove as many anti depressants down my throat to make it better.
I've been "handling everything really well", for a while now.
But here I am breaking down and loosing my temper.
I've been "acting like everything is okay", for a while now.
But here I am unable to handle my thoughts.

I'm not okay.
I'm not great.
I'm not fantastic.
I'm feeling anxious.
I'm depressed again.
I'm not handling everything well.
Everything is not okay.

I'm depressed and I am trying to figure out how not to be. I'm scared to tell my therapist. I don't want to disappoint anyone again.
Chey
Written by Chey (Cheyanne)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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