deepundergroundpoetry.com
Depression
I've been "okay", for a while now.
But here I am crying to a song because it reminds me of my dead friend.
I've been "great", for a while now.
But here I am trying to just wake up in the morning, some days wishing I didn't wake up.
I've been "fantastic", for a while now.
But here I am falling back into my old habits.
I've been "not feeling any anxiety", for a while now.
But here I am back to constantly fidgeting with something.
I've been "not feeling any bouts of depression", for a while now.
But here I am trying to shove as many anti depressants down my throat to make it better.
I've been "handling everything really well", for a while now.
But here I am breaking down and loosing my temper.
I've been "acting like everything is okay", for a while now.
But here I am unable to handle my thoughts.
I'm not okay.
I'm not great.
I'm not fantastic.
I'm feeling anxious.
I'm depressed again.
I'm not handling everything well.
Everything is not okay.
I'm depressed and I am trying to figure out how not to be. I'm scared to tell my therapist. I don't want to disappoint anyone again.
But here I am crying to a song because it reminds me of my dead friend.
I've been "great", for a while now.
But here I am trying to just wake up in the morning, some days wishing I didn't wake up.
I've been "fantastic", for a while now.
But here I am falling back into my old habits.
I've been "not feeling any anxiety", for a while now.
But here I am back to constantly fidgeting with something.
I've been "not feeling any bouts of depression", for a while now.
But here I am trying to shove as many anti depressants down my throat to make it better.
I've been "handling everything really well", for a while now.
But here I am breaking down and loosing my temper.
I've been "acting like everything is okay", for a while now.
But here I am unable to handle my thoughts.
I'm not okay.
I'm not great.
I'm not fantastic.
I'm feeling anxious.
I'm depressed again.
I'm not handling everything well.
Everything is not okay.
I'm depressed and I am trying to figure out how not to be. I'm scared to tell my therapist. I don't want to disappoint anyone again.
Published 26th May 2020
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The author encourages honest critique.
26th May 2020 4:17pm
Dear C,
Well this is a good start. Writing it out is a wonderful way of organizing your thoughts. I think emotions ebb and tide and feeling okay, great, fantastic shifts when life takes another swift turn. I hope you might reconsider discussing these feelings with your therapist. Your poem is very well written and especially for such a difficult subject. These feelings are relatable by one and all at one time or another. You don’t walk alone. H🌷
Well this is a good start. Writing it out is a wonderful way of organizing your thoughts. I think emotions ebb and tide and feeling okay, great, fantastic shifts when life takes another swift turn. I hope you might reconsider discussing these feelings with your therapist. Your poem is very well written and especially for such a difficult subject. These feelings are relatable by one and all at one time or another. You don’t walk alone. H🌷
8th Jun 2020 8:55pm
I can relate ... I am struggling as well ... but put on a brave face ... I see my shrink this Thursday ... I have so much to tell him ... need to be honest ... hang in there my dear poetess ... you are not alone ...
