Kissing the Devil

"it's like you're kissing someone else"
That knife twisted in my stomach
As my heart rolled to the floor.
I held him weakly in my hands
Aching to give myself away
Wholly as before.
But I left pieces of me on a dirt road
In the arms of my best friend.
A moment immortalized yet fleeting fast.
God himself would have to strike me down
If I ever found my way back to him.
Because the thin veil between hell and heaven right now
Is too much to bear.