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Image for the poem Before The Magic Died

Before The Magic Died

All these years where you weren’t there    
And now I can’t imagine a day without you here  
    
You’ve opened my eyes to parts of myself    
 I thought were forever lost    
And you’ve awakened feelings within me,    
I was certain I would never    
 allow myself to feel,    
at any cost    
   
There’s a duality to you    
that captures my attention    
This ruggedness and rough around the edges that covers this surprising softness    
 I know better than to mention    
   
I find myself comforted by an    
unfamiliar sense of safety    
whenever you are near me.    
I choose to trust in you,    
knowing you have the power  
to completely break me.    
   
You help me find joy and happiness    
 in big and littlest ways    
And you give me hope for brighter days.    
   
When you look at me,    
it’s like I’m finally  
being seen for the first time.    
And never before have I  
wanted someone to come into my world    
and fully know me.    
   
So I’ll open the door and welcome you in,    
and place my bruised up heart    
 in your capable hands.    
I don’t need you to heal my wounds    
nor do I expect you  
 to keep it from any harm.  
All I ask is for you to protect it    
and please don’t tear it apart.    
   
Before fate brought you back around,    
 I was content with wandering through life alone    
With a hidden desire to never be found.    
   
But within you I’ve found    
an indescribable and overwhelming feeling    
 that I hope I’ll never have to    
learn to live without.    
   
My hope is that you can walk through    
 the darkness with me    
Not to save me from my pain    
But to keep me for losing myself in it
Written by Lazy_Dead (.Julia.)
Published | Edited 31st Jul 2020
Author's Note
I wrote this a few years ago, for him, early on in our relationship. It hurts to read this again. Now, after everything I have endured, it’s like a knife to the heart. And it is incredibly hard to post it. But I challenged myself to full transparency in telling my story.. so here lies the beginning of the end...
BTW: the art was a gift he drew for me, it seemed to fit here.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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