deepundergroundpoetry.com
"Negative thoughts like sharks craving blood"
Summer is the time when the sun is hot enough to slightly burn your skin,
I wear longlseeves and the sweat burns the scars hidden within.
I'm fighting a loosing battle,
If only depression had a warning sighn the a snake with a rattle.
I try to be strong stand my ground,
but I can't seem to put the blades down.
For months I'd take a bath and see the razor on the edge of the tub In it's own space,
My mind would fill with dark images but I'd ignore them and leave it in its place.
One day every thing became and ocean and the negative thoughts were like sharks,
With desperate thirst for blood and ready to leave their marks.
I wear longlseeves and the sweat burns the scars hidden within.
I'm fighting a loosing battle,
If only depression had a warning sighn the a snake with a rattle.
I try to be strong stand my ground,
but I can't seem to put the blades down.
For months I'd take a bath and see the razor on the edge of the tub In it's own space,
My mind would fill with dark images but I'd ignore them and leave it in its place.
One day every thing became and ocean and the negative thoughts were like sharks,
With desperate thirst for blood and ready to leave their marks.
Published 15th May 2020
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15th May 2020 5:12am
One day at a time, one step at a time, recovery is never-ending. You are doing good ❤️ Keep fighting those urges... Find a healthy release. When you are hurting, rather than the blade, try to pick up the pen and spill ink rather than blood. I know it's easier said than done, but I am rooting for you, Meganne! Hope you feel better soon!
I wish I had better advice... Perhaps you should try to hide your razor from yourself... There are little things like that that can be triggers. If seeing it is enough to make you crave, maybe it's not good for it to be sitting in plain sight. "Out of sight, out of mind" so to speak. It might help?
Anyway, this was really expressive and raw... Thank you for opening up about your struggle.
I wish I had better advice... Perhaps you should try to hide your razor from yourself... There are little things like that that can be triggers. If seeing it is enough to make you crave, maybe it's not good for it to be sitting in plain sight. "Out of sight, out of mind" so to speak. It might help?
Anyway, this was really expressive and raw... Thank you for opening up about your struggle.
15th May 2020 5:35pm
We all have negative thoughts of course. It's how far you take it that is the important thing here. It is a shame of course that you're disfiguring yourself to help numb the pain. I think NewBeginnings is right when he says one step at a time.
I rarly expose my arms in the sun. If & when I do, I usually slap sun lotion on. That shows you how hot it has to be for me to do that! We are talking +30oC.
I rarly expose my arms in the sun. If & when I do, I usually slap sun lotion on. That shows you how hot it has to be for me to do that! We are talking +30oC.
15th May 2020 8:33pm
I hear you. Thank you for sharing from such vulnerable depth. The syllabic harmony is really tight and your message impacting. 💖🙏🏻
