deepundergroundpoetry.com
WHAT IS THE USE?
WHAT IS THE USE?
The obscure darkness fills the sky
with stars that twinkle like man's eyes.
They ask if man can find an aim
of this fast trip and his short life.
The stars tell him that they have seen
a lot of people come and die.
They saw the cavemen yesterday.
Today, they see the modern men.
They passed like guests and still they do.
Why do they come? where do they go?
The stars and eyes twinkle and ask,
"What is the use of this vague trip?"
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
The obscure darkness fills the sky
with stars that twinkle like man's eyes.
They ask if man can find an aim
of this fast trip and his short life.
The stars tell him that they have seen
a lot of people come and die.
They saw the cavemen yesterday.
Today, they see the modern men.
They passed like guests and still they do.
Why do they come? where do they go?
The stars and eyes twinkle and ask,
"What is the use of this vague trip?"
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 14th May 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Since, as the Longman Dictionary notes, "obscure" means "1 not well known and usually not very important; 2 difficult to understand",
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/obscure
is there such a thing as an "obscure darkness", let alone one that fills the sky with light?
And isn't this line
"The stars and eyes twinkle and ask"
rather bumpy in its meter? It scans
The STARS and EYES TWINKle and ASK
And are you going to answer the questions that you raise in your final lines?
Moreover, I fail to see what an aspiring poet would learn about writing poetry from this submission. Would you please let me know what you think this would be?
I'd also like to know, in the light of your claim that the style that you write in is always beautiful, what the style of this piece is and what's beautiful about it. Please tell me so that I can ensure that henceforth I will write when I am basing what I write on things you have written in a way that doesn't demolish it.
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/obscure
is there such a thing as an "obscure darkness", let alone one that fills the sky with light?
And isn't this line
"The stars and eyes twinkle and ask"
rather bumpy in its meter? It scans
The STARS and EYES TWINKle and ASK
And are you going to answer the questions that you raise in your final lines?
Moreover, I fail to see what an aspiring poet would learn about writing poetry from this submission. Would you please let me know what you think this would be?
I'd also like to know, in the light of your claim that the style that you write in is always beautiful, what the style of this piece is and what's beautiful about it. Please tell me so that I can ensure that henceforth I will write when I am basing what I write on things you have written in a way that doesn't demolish it.
14th May 2020 9:08pm
14th May 2020 11:02pm
Wow. So Longman can no longer be used as an authority for what words mean and/or how one doesn't know what he/she is talking about when one claims a word is being misused?
And it's so obvious that the meter of the line in question IS clunky and that there's nothing to be learned about how to write poetry from this piece that my questions about these matters need not be answered.
Thanks for the clarification.
And it's so obvious that the meter of the line in question IS clunky and that there's nothing to be learned about how to write poetry from this piece that my questions about these matters need not be answered.
Thanks for the clarification.
14th May 2020 11:22pm
I am sure you have enough reasons for stirring the grudges in your heart.
And again wow. But this time for coming up with another red herring to dodge my questions.
Let's say I have grudges in my heart. How does that have any bearing on how YOU have implied that Longman is not an authority on the meaning of words and should not be used to show that one has missed a word when, to your eyes, one has done so?
Is what I claimed on the basis of the entry on "obscure" in Longman about how the expression "obscure darkness" is an oxymoron incorrect? Is the darkness that fills the sky at night really not well known or hard to understand as you are (inadvertently?) claiming it is when you use the expression "obscure darkness"?
Let's say I have grudges in my heart. How does that have any bearing on how YOU have implied that Longman is not an authority on the meaning of words and should not be used to show that one has missed a word when, to your eyes, one has done so?
Is what I claimed on the basis of the entry on "obscure" in Longman about how the expression "obscure darkness" is an oxymoron incorrect? Is the darkness that fills the sky at night really not well known or hard to understand as you are (inadvertently?) claiming it is when you use the expression "obscure darkness"?
15th May 2020 1:29am
I don't mean to get all metaphysical here, but it is a strange irony that many stars we allegedly see in the sky are merely ancient images of objects that may no longer exist.
That is something to consider when you say things like
"They saw the cavemen yesterday.
Today, they see the modern men. "
Maybe not.
That is something to consider when you say things like
"They saw the cavemen yesterday.
Today, they see the modern men. "
Maybe not.
