Take me back to 2004

Authors Note: This poem contains references to self harm, drug and alcohol abuse, sex and sexual assault, so if it's not your kind of read, don't read it. - Indie

Take me back to 2004
When I didnít want this life anymore
Where I cared too much about getting high
And not enough about living life
It was all about the latest escape  
As though I could forget Iíd ever been raped
Cut the skin so I could watch it bleed
Drink myself stupid and smoke too much weed
And the reflection in the mirror, it might be me  
But Iím so wasted I canít quite see  
And I donít know what Iím doing here  
Drinking it up so I can forget the fear  
Because weíre all just a bunch of whores
Totally fucked up and beyond bored
With a life that scars from the inside out  
And no oneís there to allay our doubts
ĎCause sex never leads to love  
And itís never quite enough
To feel like Iím alive  
When in these vices I only hide
And I want to say I would take it back  
Pretend like those days werenít hazy and black  
Pretend like they never happened at all  
And my fists werenít bruised from punching walls  
But now, I donít know who Iíd be
If those people had never fucked with me  
ĎCause those days are gone  
And a part of me feels like Iíve won  
ĎCause Iím still alive  
And God knows I survived
All my self-destructive ways
To still be alive today  
So take me back to 2004
When I didnít want this life anymore
ĎCause sometimes I need those memories
To remind me of all the things that didnít kill me  
Indie Adams 2012
Written by Indie (Miss Indie)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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