a journey into the dark

 
I don't know if you felt me slip away
so deep into the darkness, you couldn't follow
my mind snapped...
I had a complete break from reality
 
the anxiety level in me build
and I hallucinated devils
I rant at them in writing
scream at them through poetry
I hid here...
 
I was in hiding...my family would find out
shhh don't tell she's gone crazy
I was straight rotgut
as bare-bones as I could get...vulnerable
 
I was hearing voices but they were all too real
it was terrifying
the energy in me would build
until I think I might explode
 
I was so frightened
but I was beyond the ability to communicate  
I couldn't talk to any of you or my family
 
I talked only to them...my demons
my family was afraid of me
I was talking to the devil
 
a creature of myth to me until now
I thought him an interesting character to write about  
but not real
 
my mind became acquainted with the real deal
and what they thought of me
they didn't like me writing about them
they found it insulting
 
my innocence was brutalized
my mind tortured
I was listening to Ozzy's Is God Dead song
and I felt the devil rise inside me
and I descend into hell where my soul was tormented
 
my saving grace...  
I had a constant visitor checking in on me
I'm not religous but it was our creator
he talked with me daily
 
when the demons were at their worst
I would feel his approach {the creators}
the demons would say not me man I'm out of here
it was surreal
 
today I really have no one to talk to about this
who would believe me anyway?
the crazy devil lady as I was known
lady Dark in some circles
 
I had an encounter I will never forget
the creator brought me out of hell
he brought me back to sanity
 
I still struggle with writing darkness
but I'm seeking the light