deepundergroundpoetry.com

Mistress

You love her.
And you’ll always love her.
Your love for her will always run deeper than you could ever love me
And she will know you more intimately than I ever will.
 
I could never compete with the powers she has.
She’s seductive, alluring and enticing.
She makes you feel powerful, unstoppable, and confident
at levels I never could.
She makes you feel brave, courageous, daring, carefree, and fearless.
She takes you places I never will.
 
Your time with her is euphoric, intoxicating, and invigorating.
With her, you feel everything more intensely and strongly.
There is nothing more powerful than the rush that she gives you  
and the connection you feel when you are with her.
 
But her love is not without consequence.
It is not pure, nor is it selfless or genuine.
Her intention is to trap you and abuse you.  
Like a siren, leading you to a rocky death.
 
She will mess with your mind.
She will make you see and believe things that are not true.
Reality will slowly slip away from you,
while her grip on you becomes stronger and stronger.
And she will hurt you.  
She will cause you deeper pain than you have ever known.
 
And all the anger and frustration you hold for her and for yourself,
you will take out on those that love and care for you.
And as she begins to change who you are,  
you will project every ugly thing about yourself  
onto those around you.
 
And yet, I will cling onto to you,
carrying the weight of the second-hand abuse.
Desperately waiting for the day, you see her for who she truly is.
I’ll beg you not to continue down the path that you are on.
For if you do,
she will suck the life out of you.
She will break you.
And destroy you.
Until you have nothing, and no one left.
Once you are completely dependent on her,
she will slowly take away every piece of your soul.
 
Although she makes you feel special,  
your love for her, means nothing to her.
You are only one of many.
And when you’re gone,
she won’t mourn you.
Instead, she’ll be recruiting for someone else to replace you.
Body after body
Life after life
Soul after soul
She takes and she takes
With not an ounce of remorse.
 
And yet you will continue to seek her.
Following her like a mindless sheep,
desperate to be something more than you are.
For it is not the strong that she seeks,
it’s the broken and insecure
that will fall victim to her illusions
and believe in her lies.
 
Eventually, you will break it off with her.
You’ll realize the hurt and the pain that she has caused.
Eventually, your eyes will be open  
and you’ll see her true colors.
And you will turn to me.
And I will excitedly believe that you are finally mine.
 
Yet we will both be haunted by the damage she has caused.
For you may walk away,
but her hold on you will forever remain.
 
In the quiet moments,
you’ll hear her faint whispers.
When the world becomes stressful,
when you feel anything too strongly,
whether it be joy, happiness, sadness, sorrow, fear or pain,
you’ll be searching for her comfort.
You’ll look behind you
And she will be there,
ever charming and inviting,
with her arms wide open,
always willing to take you back.
 
And that is why you will never be mine.
You’ve already given your heart to someone else,
And your soul is already tied to her.
So, if I want you,
I have to be willing to share you.
For you belonged to her,
long before I offered you my heart.
 
And it was a painful truth I had to face…
When I realized
It was I,
who was the mistress all along…
Lazy_Dead
Written by Lazy_Dead (.Julia.)
Published | Edited 31st Jul 2020
Author's Note
It is hard to love someone who struggles with addiction...
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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