deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cosmic Culinary Chaos
in meteor field, adrift
inside, showing
no sign of elation,
a perturbed Sous-Chef,
job interview bound,
intended destination,
USS Ezra Pound.
He began to rant
the moment boarded
“What took you so long?”
Is my life not important?
I used to be Head Chef
at Crandooyars
on Bravo Bravo Alpha Seven
Where my Klingon cuisine
was awarded
four grunts and two stars.
Must I now cook
in the kitchen from hell
when I’ve just left heaven?”
All crew members,
with one voice could tell,
this is one rescue
I wish we’d aborted.
In the master galley chaos ensued
When assigned by Chef in Chief
fry Cook Second Class.
Livid, in ships pantry he stewed
refusing to work, just sat on his ass.
When urged, by command to comply,
he tossed food stores in the trash.
A resounding “PISS OFF” his reply.
The galley Sous-Chef,
he relentlessly bullied
claimed his risotto
was “NOT GOOD ENOUGH!”
when the poor man
grilling targ steaks he saw,
he sneaked up behind him
screaming “IT’S RAW!”
The last straw was finally reached
when sadistic interloper yelled,
“SHUT IT DOWN!”
To whole galley crew,
“YOU’RE WORTHLESS!” he screeched,
to which Chef in Chief replied with a frown.
“I’m the Head Chef on the deck damnit!
I will not be barked orders
by some rude, self-possessed clown!”
The Captain soon intervened.
The bully unfit for galley duty he deemed
I’ll use you for a key, special purpose.
A new rank was given,
“You’re now Ensign Smarty.
It requires you wear this red shirt.
You are to be beamed
to the nearest planet with surface
as the first one-man landing party
Not certain who
commandeered the intercom
but a loud booming voice
punctuated Captain’s orders,
“YOUR MISSION, EAT DIRT!”
Published 29th Apr 2020
Author's Note
Felt like being funny...not sure I achieved that goal but gave myself a good laugh,🤩
NaPo/GloPo/WriMo 2020 #28
NaPo/GloPo/WriMo 2020 #28
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28th Jun 2020 9:26pm
28th Jun 2020 9:48pm
I am so glad you read this one. I had a blast writing the piece. It's by far not my best in flow but you've proven it has some redeeming qualities because I value your opinion. Muchisimas Gracias!!
28th Jun 2020 9:51pm
28th Jun 2020 9:59pm
