Bod

I can add this to the reading list I have to know what Y.O.L.O means as in the actual intitials

Matt:)

Thanks for the read and of course add if you want ;D

Means: You Only Live Once

"You already know though..
You only live once: that’s the motto nigga YOLO
We bout it every day, every day, every day"
-The Motto by Drake

I would take that out,  if it is not something you came up with originally, it shouldn´t be in the poem.  You have a very personal, deep, and vulnerable poem with a pop culture catch phrase.   If you feel it is necessary to end the poem that way try to find another way to express it

Matt:)
     
hmmm [thinks deeply] i see your angle but i wasnt referencing it to the song at all, actually it was  abbv. as apart of the rhyming scheme and remembered  drake after
     
I only mentioned the drake verse in the comment to you bc it came to mind. Plus, things in society have there impact on peoples lives anyway.. whether its in the clothes you were the car you drive or whatnot.. a collection of experiences and things which come together to make you, you. An expression of self--- influence/inspiration comes from everywhere.
     
Also referenced 'coup de grace' no comment on that? Or just make no reference at all and have people make their own assumptions on what ive written?((I.E  http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/37772-wisabi/  "Dante's Inferno" in this referenced in this one))  
     
Furthermore, if i were to then reference a classical movie of some kind or artwork dated back to Roman rule would that then be considered more appropriate, as opposed to 'a pop culture catch phrase'?  
     
You've given me something to think about' ill consider changing it.
     
Thanks for commenting, the feedback/criticism is welcomed:)
     
[Jordanne]

I feel as if i should expound on something:

'she' is referred to my body, 'my body' gives me 'agony' which 'those who suffer with me' (with the same disability) can truly understand (cant change it bc im born this way) so i can only go with the 'flow' and accept it bc 'you only live once'. thus we need to remember we have one life and shouldnt be constantly down/live in depression bc of how our cards are seemingly dealt.

Touché, Damn you! you have a point :)

some people go through pain none of us can understand - we can try - we can listen - but we truly never know - writing it down explains it so much better - afterall the old cliche is the pen is mightier then the sword - and your poem exemplifies that in this piece - well done Lady Jordanne - respectfully ^v^

SirNight:)

Thanks for the compliment and commenting.

[Jordanne]

RubixCube:

Thanks for the comment and the welcoming.  Just one comment, watch out that you do not repeat yourself in the same poem.  For instance, if "she kills" you she must be "the death of" you.  Good stuff.  Love = pain, suffering, pain = love, suffering.  I have a feeling you must be young.

marcella1

Marcella1:)

Within the poem though, one part was more of a lament and the other was a statement.I take it that it never came off that way :/

hmmmm, thanks for the note ill be sure to be more careful.

[Jordanne]