The Garden of Eden

Itís winter time, but Iím outside
Fingernails caked in soil,
Cheeks flushed with exhaustion

Iím growing a garden, as you can see.
One day it will be filled with life
Flowers will bloom with an awe-inspiring arrangement of colours
Sunlight will come again!

But for now, itís and gloomy
And the seeds wonít sprout.
So I swallow the seeds as if theyíre pills
Watching the snow around me melt away

Blades of grass poke out and peer at me
Except the grass is just a mattress
The soil caked under my nails is just a part of me
Itís not under me, it is me
I know itís me because I can feel the life buried under my skin.

The insects crawl and frolic under my forearms
I want them out, but they just wonít leave
Scratching at the soil that is actually my skin
The dirt under my nails turns into skin flakes and blood

I look up to see sunlight, but itís only my ceiling

There arenít any flowers here.
The only thing that blooms is my brain
My spirit just withers, and I try to water it
Desperately attempting to salvage my soul
But the water isnít water
Itís just my fears
Soaking into the roots of my problems,
Providing sustenance to my self-hatred
So it can continue to gnaw at me.

I try to tend my garden.
To till it with kindness.
But my hoe is actually a saw blade
Digging into the root-like veins

Iím screaming, but nothing comes out.

I donít want my garden anymore.

Cut my brain-stem so I canít feel the earth beneath my feet,
I donít want to feel the insects crawling in this soil.

I grew a garden in my mind, with plenty of water and hope

But this water feels like acid, searing my skin
And all I hope is for it to be winter again.
Written by ChemicalRose (Meguana)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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