NOW

i am often here,
yet gone

distracted,
my minutes
tainted by worry
my awareness
forfeit
to anxiety
or regret
and my experience
blunted
by self consciousness

i rarely
see the world
in front of me

but for those few seconds
when I do
the sky is never bluer
and trees
never a richer green

still,
it's so much easier
to remember
and anticipate
than to be in here,
now,
fully aware
for even
one quick minute


***

we are here,  
but gone  

these minutes,  
are what we have  
yet are most often  
forfeited  
to anticipation  
and regret,  
then  
experienced  
through the haze  
of memory  
 
thus we spend  
our pittance