Pissmas (The Golden Snow)

     “I have to start this Christmas shit early this year
With everyone one in panic mode, because of the coronavirus fear,
      “Things so bad its effecting recovering alcoholics and queers
Having them splash back into pussy and drink beers,  

      “Or hard liquor, whatever goes down quicker
Regardless, they will still become a mad pisser,
      “And that’s the Easter Bunnies attitude straight motherfuckin pissed
Because his holiday got fucked up real goddamn quick,

      “At least I have several months to go
Before I put on my international toy show,
      “Right now I’m in Richmond letting a thot polish my pole
Then back north, before Misses Clause knows,

      “Flying over DC and shaking my head on how they handled this affair
For their leader coal is coming and elf shit-stained underwear,
      “Over the NYC I grant them my ultimate magical wish
A speedy recovery from this devastating shit,

      “On arrival I stealth into my secret frozen cave
To sneak up on my elves to see the factory progress made,
      “If any of the enslaved get sick their ass gotta go
Fuck quarantine-straight exile to freeze in the snow,

      “Front gate service so motherfuckin walk
And take with you that motherfuckin pubic hair in the throat cough,
      “Mr. Thanksgiving left a email because I called him a virus infected bat
Calling me all kinds of Christmas motherfuckers and he gonna get me back,

      “I told him if you wanna go to war-I’ll see him at the Christmas party
Stuffed and cooked for every motherfuckin body,
      “Just like Easter I hoped his holiday gets fucked up
Now gobble-gobble that shit-looking like a Exxon oil-covered duck,

      “After a stressful ass day-I finally make it home
For relaxation, but a strange noise made me realize I wasn’t alone,
      “Candy cane razorblade in hand I open my kitchen door
To find Misses Clause covered in turkey feathers, naked and bloody on the floor”.