deepundergroundpoetry.com

Cravings

I crave self-harm like a smoker craves a cigarette.
I am trying avoid the relapse It's just so hard to change my mindset.
 
I desire the cut like an alcoholic desires to be impaired.
It's as if in my head a war was declared.
 
I dream of my death like a child dreaming of what the future holds.
I feel the darkness taking over and I fear the affects it will have when it unfolds.
 
I want the blade like a junky wants the high.
I know it makes no sense and taking this actions is something I cannot justify.  
 
It's almost as if I need it.
I fell victim to the urges once again and It hurts to admit it.
 
It resembles a pet like it needs to be fed.
I'm trying to be strong and remember what my therapist said.
 
I imagine the blood spilling as it slices my skin, like someone who bought a lottery ticket is imagines what it'd be like to win.  
I know these thoughts are a sin, I'm am so sorry that I lost my sobriety again.
Written by TrueLover (Meganne)
Published | Edited 20th Apr 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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