deepundergroundpoetry.com
Seventy-Four Better Words
I want to say something
anything
exquisite, ephemeral
words rolling
off my silver tongue
to the page,
the tendrils of my emotion
breathing you in deeply
and gently exhaling
understanding
across your worried face,
leaving you a bit
restless;
I’ve struggled against
the restraints
of my frantic mind today,
staring but seeing nothing
ever since my eyes opened
too early this morning
after closing much too late
last night;
so instead I’ll tell you plainly
what I desired
to give you,
if I’d been able to find
seventy-four better words
Unique Word Count: 74
anything
exquisite, ephemeral
words rolling
off my silver tongue
to the page,
the tendrils of my emotion
breathing you in deeply
and gently exhaling
understanding
across your worried face,
leaving you a bit
restless;
I’ve struggled against
the restraints
of my frantic mind today,
staring but seeing nothing
ever since my eyes opened
too early this morning
after closing much too late
last night;
so instead I’ll tell you plainly
what I desired
to give you,
if I’d been able to find
seventy-four better words
Unique Word Count: 74
Published 15th Apr 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 6
reads 302
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
15th Apr 2020 6:14am
Dear L,
Love it. The entire piece is fantastic. This section especially caught my attention “I’ve struggled against
the restraints
of my frantic mind,
staring but seeing nothing
ever since my eyes opened
too early this morning
after closing much too late
last night; ” how the mind won’t shut off so late to bed and early to rise still thinking between those sweet slumbering hours. It’s half way through for all you brave poets. Awesome write. H
Love it. The entire piece is fantastic. This section especially caught my attention “I’ve struggled against
the restraints
of my frantic mind,
staring but seeing nothing
ever since my eyes opened
too early this morning
after closing much too late
last night; ” how the mind won’t shut off so late to bed and early to rise still thinking between those sweet slumbering hours. It’s half way through for all you brave poets. Awesome write. H
15th Apr 2020 5:13pm
15th Apr 2020 2:10pm
15th Apr 2020 5:13pm
30th Jun 2020 12:52pm
2nd Jul 2020 1:49pm
