A Killer No Way

So as I sit
I have to convince
I don't like to admit
nothing makes sense .

I did as I should
I  wouldn't lie
a lid shut my book
and I don't know why .

Correspondence
and intelligence
despondence
through ignorance
I never expected
nor ever wanted this
let alone rejected
then in lonliness
my sanity ejected
out into the great abyss ,
our love then neglected
my name disrespected
all blame concentrated  
ashamed and ill fated
on I who here waited
not knowing and slated
my effigy glowing
on coals open grated ,
proportions out blowing
contortionist showing
impossible movements
of know way of knowing .

Then after this
I find you do miss
the reality of me
that is I you did kiss .

Murderers are evil  
killing is dispicable
please don't think
of this I am capable ,
for I am not culpable
nor so horrible
to even think of atrocity
abominible .

Insurance claims
good god thats insane
I love you to bits
for you have my name
aside all of this
I'm getting on that plane
you are my bliss
in this world of much pain .