babies breath

 
little babies breath of hope
lilting tenderly on the winds of change
I'm much like a child inside
delicate but fierce
tender yet bold

I'm not like most people I meet
I was born to a schizo mommy
my earliest memories were being alone
alone but never lonely
in danger but never afraid
the creator was with me...my constant companion

my memories of the playground didn't involve other children
it revolved around nature and his voice
gently speculating about how things worked
it wasn't until later a well-meaning teacher pointed out with care--
that I wasn't interacting with the other children
my parents chastised me for not having friends
I tried friendship but there was a missing quotient in me

I didn't really fit in anywhere
after a while of trial and failure
I started people-pleasing to find acceptance
for example in junior high, I was put in the gifted classes
I only had one pal and she wanted to hang with stoners
needlessly to say I was not a fit
but sadly my self-esteem made me stick out with the smart kids

I love humanity but they mystify me
the people who have come close to me I've disappointed
so I don't trust myself with the creator
but at this junctor in my life, I'm at a loss
he's the only one who can help me

I've been under spiritual attack pretty much sense birth
then there is my schizo problem...pills only help so much
with all our medical advances the brain remains a mystery

so today I pray God save me from myself
don't let my mind be easy pickings for a cunning predator like my enemy