drunk with things due

 
i am
completely, utterly
dizziness

why do I do this.
I know
I must reckon with the same dreams
tomorrow,
of me
as a brazen, badass student
speaking my mind
but tonight
i drink so much
that showing them I care
is impossible

I’m here
swooning
to my own music.
to the nine stars stagnant
in the lake charles sky.
and damnit,
I don’t want to be here forever.
I can’t
but I swing
on a coping mechanism
of margaritas -

too dizzy
to say my words

but something
is tugging me away
like I need to make
peace first.
peace.

peace
I can’t
fucking find.