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Held by Blackness
Held by blackness
like the black curtain on my window holds out the light
as I pray to sleep just a little bit longer
Held by blackness
like the night sky shuts out the sun's light allowing us
to see the small diamonds scattered like glitter
Held by blackness
like my black clothes cover and hide my shape
providing a blank canvas to decorate
Held by blackness
like my heavy, black blanket that wraps snuggly around me
offering comfort and security
Held by blackness
like my black shoes that leave many foot prints through life's path
wanting to be seen but not seen at the same time
Held by blackness
like the black frames that surround the pictures of my children,
my most precious of belongings
Held by blackness
like the black bear that sits on my nightstand, reminding me of
my Little Mahto (Little Bear) who is now a grown man
Held by blackness
like the deep black eyes of Hanblalah (Little Dreamer) who is a very
blessed old soul and my wisdom keeper
Held by blackness
like an empty t.v. screen with nothing to say. No words...
No thoughts....just.......blank.
Held by blackness
like sadness that washes over me and reveals itself in tears
that run down my cheeks and drip off my chin
Held by blackness
©janiceraindavis
04/11/2020
like the black curtain on my window holds out the light
as I pray to sleep just a little bit longer
Held by blackness
like the night sky shuts out the sun's light allowing us
to see the small diamonds scattered like glitter
Held by blackness
like my black clothes cover and hide my shape
providing a blank canvas to decorate
Held by blackness
like my heavy, black blanket that wraps snuggly around me
offering comfort and security
Held by blackness
like my black shoes that leave many foot prints through life's path
wanting to be seen but not seen at the same time
Held by blackness
like the black frames that surround the pictures of my children,
my most precious of belongings
Held by blackness
like the black bear that sits on my nightstand, reminding me of
my Little Mahto (Little Bear) who is now a grown man
Held by blackness
like the deep black eyes of Hanblalah (Little Dreamer) who is a very
blessed old soul and my wisdom keeper
Held by blackness
like an empty t.v. screen with nothing to say. No words...
No thoughts....just.......blank.
Held by blackness
like sadness that washes over me and reveals itself in tears
that run down my cheeks and drip off my chin
Held by blackness
©janiceraindavis
04/11/2020
Published 12th Apr 2020
Author's Note
This is day 6 of a sadness that I can't even explain. I cry about everything and people's words cut like sharp knifes. There seems to be no end in sight. I know, I'm exhausted from being an "essential" employee, but I think it's more. I know, I am also missing my children more than I can adequately express.
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12th Apr 2020 12:30pm
I feel like I am kept captive by your words and I can only offer words of encouragement but I feel so unprepared
I do not know where your strength comes from and the extent of the battle that you fight right now
Being in a state of having to work long hours and barely get any sufficient sleep
Many of us would be found wandering in a zombie state including myself
It is in such moments I also feel I would lose a sense of reality
Drowning into a state of warped existence
Even as I write these words I fear the reception that it may have in someone in a vulnerable predicament
Unprecedented with no rules and guidelines to follow
Instead having to adapt as changing conditions overwhelm everyone at all levels of authority
If there was ever a small attempt to place myself in someone else's situation facing a crisis
Unable to have an option for peace, calmness and relaxation physically and mentally at present
There would be next alternative of looking forward to that uplifting reason one wants to live for
The answer as to why this sacrifice that is being made now is for
The waking up in the morning everyday to live the real raison d'ętre
The mission that keeps a person doing what they love
The vocation that the person is called to that which the world needs
The belief that the person has of being great at their passion
The excellence that the person brings to the profession for which they get paid for
When there is need for spiritual guidance having those quiet moments with oneself to trust yourself to overcome it all
I do not know where your strength comes from and the extent of the battle that you fight right now
Being in a state of having to work long hours and barely get any sufficient sleep
Many of us would be found wandering in a zombie state including myself
It is in such moments I also feel I would lose a sense of reality
Drowning into a state of warped existence
Even as I write these words I fear the reception that it may have in someone in a vulnerable predicament
Unprecedented with no rules and guidelines to follow
Instead having to adapt as changing conditions overwhelm everyone at all levels of authority
If there was ever a small attempt to place myself in someone else's situation facing a crisis
Unable to have an option for peace, calmness and relaxation physically and mentally at present
There would be next alternative of looking forward to that uplifting reason one wants to live for
The answer as to why this sacrifice that is being made now is for
The waking up in the morning everyday to live the real raison d'ętre
The mission that keeps a person doing what they love
The vocation that the person is called to that which the world needs
The belief that the person has of being great at their passion
The excellence that the person brings to the profession for which they get paid for
When there is need for spiritual guidance having those quiet moments with oneself to trust yourself to overcome it all
13th Apr 2020 7:36pm
Laluma...
Thank you for spending time with me and sharing your thoughts. I read your comment several times. It felt like a prayer of peace for me.
Blessings to you 🖤
Thank you for spending time with me and sharing your thoughts. I read your comment several times. It felt like a prayer of peace for me.
Blessings to you 🖤
13th Apr 2020 7:12pm
Wow! Honestly I could search through the entire dictionary and still find no words fitting enough to express how I felt reading this poem. My body covered in goosebumps, sent chills down my spine and my hair stood on end. Absolutely love this, I haven't read a poem that touched my soul like this one did, in a long time So thank you so much for sharing your soul and touching mine.
13th Apr 2020 7:42pm
TrueLover, I have a feeling that you "heard" all the unspoken (unwritten) words of this poem. I am glad it touched you.
🖤 Blessings
🖤 Blessings
