deepundergroundpoetry.com

QWERTY

cheese and... holes... one massive swiss on
the matter of: 23.5°N and (φ, θ, ψ)...
the devil will find work for idle hands...
and if it's "work" via a
q w e r t y u i o p
a s d f g h j k l
z x c v b n m...

again: who needs the alphabet: the a b c d e...
when i'm looking down on:
an armchair of comfort for the purpose of typing...
so that i don't have to look down
at the keyboard: except for when my
hands are in the wrong position...

why would i need to cite: having to remember
an alphabet:
if i know all the letters in it:
does it matter that i should know it?
if i'm sieving through an index of a never-to-be
completed thought...

i have this other "alphabet" at my fingertips:
hell... my head is on fire...
my brain is poaching in sauerkraut juices
being boiled...
i need to look up the person
who came up with

q w e r t y u i o p
a s d f g h j k l
z x c v b n m
and the ctrl+c / ctrl+p (i will actually look down
to spot the +/= click click)...

right hand pinky is for the enter button
backspace for the right hand ring finger
the space bar is reserved for the right hand
middle finger: and sometimes the thumbs...

i don't i am much in need of some
of my fingers... e.t. call home hands would
do just fine...

here comes the alphabet of pedagogy:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w q y z
how many is that?
did i miss one?    wow... that's really 26
letters...          i usually "forgot" the sequence
when it came to      u v w q y z...
i won't check: i am pretty much sure it's
wrong...

Christopher Latham Sholes!
that's the man!
why isn't he... celebrated?
i guess making videos took off...
i'm stuck here: minding "unnecessary" details
of things...
like Descartes finding the ultimate doubt...
or Pascal the wager...
and there's always this french "thing" of
having to bring it back to a chair a table... etc.

i'll repeat this name over and over again...
can anyone question the genius of
the design?
i heard someone once cite the genius
of the...

but i'm fucking around with pseudo-Braille!
i'm looking at a screen and not looking
at the keyboard:
i'm not some boomer doctor... boomer...
doctor... pecking... crow pecking...
with two index fingers... at the fucking QWERTY!
i'm writing in pseudo-Braille!
i heard someone mention the genius
of Harry Beck's London underground tube map...

ground breaking... not in my books...
Christopher Latham Sholes' QWERTY...
for me that's... next... next level jinn magic shit...
aladdin and the lamp rub rub... rub rub...

the design is so pristine that...
i can't tell you... with precision...
what finger goes where and punctures out what
letter...
but i am not looking at the keyboard...
i'm looking at a birth of the next word...
the next line... but i am pretty much sure
that... some fingers are only props...
for when i'll use them to exercise motion
of: beyond the hand... the arm and...
hammer in some nails...

relax, perhaps like Picasso... relax...
by doing some indoor decorating...
refreshing the cupboards in the kitchen
with: yet another layer of paint...

would a painter relax by...
becoming entombed in a rectangular space...
paint the walls... the ceiling...
i was under the impression that...
Francis Bacon had a part-time job as an indoor
decorator...

oh god... the 1st and through to the 6th whiskey
is still horrid...
it's like... insomnia fucking paranoia
and giving birth to cold sweat...

ha ha! i just have to laugh on paper:
because i can only enjoy a snigger within my own
affair of the body...
why would anyone need to...
learn or rather know... the "alphabet":
the sequence... after all... it's not like...
the vowels are cited first: a e i o u...
there you go... the pentagram...
and that the consonants come later...
or perhaps the consonants should come
first... and the vowels would be...
encouraged to settle for the status of:
auxiliary?

ha ha! god "designed" the human skeleton...
the giraffe's neck...
the hyena's laughter: and mine too...
are we so fucking stupid to believe that:
the god's didn't gamble... make bets...
and... oh fuck: wh'oopsie! man popped out?!
i find that... well... under monotheism...
a god: or the gods... do not laugh...
they're... reduced to a geometrical blob...
they do not steal our comforts derived from fire...
heroin... hell: the litany of raj spices...

but... ha ha... QWERTY... 10th bourbon in me:
now i see the bigger picture...
not to mention...
ever since the mortal kombat soundtrack
came out... juke joint jezebel - kmfdm...
and of course... type o negative:
blood and fire (out of the ashes mix)...
well... i didn't see it coming...
stay out of my dreams...

peter: schtill!
sha! shtil! makht nisht keyn gerider
der rebe geyt shoyn tantsn vider...

i am... quiet positively glowing... with:
joy...      what an ultimate transformation...
it's like that joke a thing concerns itself
with... lying in full view:
of someone looking for it...
a dementia-amnesia cocktail...

i will not tire of having to reiterate this...
does anyone really need
the "correct" sequence of the alphabet?
really?
as long as you remember all the 26 letters:
in whatever you want?
wouldn't that be better...
but given the keyboard...
can you at least appreciate it?
the composition of the mind-gherkin prickly...
design of: the spacial orientation
of the best way to place one's hands...
and execute... a litany... a cascade of letters?

what good is the alphabet...
when it's forever changing...
with each word... and with each word
in each subsequent sentence?
it's not a numbers gimmick...
all the way from plato through to kant...
the tyrant of syracuse would have been
a moral man: if only he knew the cemented
reality of 5 + 6 = 11: or...    V + VI = XI...

no one... i too have a hot-bed of person
bullshit to sieve through...
but... i will be unable to love another man
with the sort of ideals...
the ideals that only pets have privy details
on... how i do adore...
the silence and the otherwise opera of onomatopoeias
of... staying in the womb of a syllable:
that the cat is certain: to me it's certain
he has knowledge of a distinction of a consonant
and a vowel:
otherwise: what the fuck is a meow?
meu! mao!
what the fuck is a woof?!      who! how!
a load of dreamies and dog biscuits...
i'm still under the impression that neither cats:
nor dogs... are capable of seeing 3D objects
on a 2D canvas... notably the t.v. -
their blatant disregard for our neon-fireplace...

so much of the "concern" for the computer's
ergonomics is beside: that joke...
'how was cobber wire invented?
two scots arguing: which later translates
into a pulling apart of a penny...'
not my joke: my english teacher's:
as glaswegian by the designated: given-names:

si-rrrrr t(h)omas! bunce!
and a bunser burner he was...
almost... dead poets society sort of giver...
and whoever has beef about going
to school...
should rethink the concept of
the sandpit at a play-area when equipped
with a bucket and spades...
and inconveniences such as: pumpkin pie:
or victoria sponge...

again: to reiterate...
the genius (geniuses...
alliances of human spawn...
integrated into the third party clauses
to compete with angels and demons...
not god-spawn of recycled gambling affairs)...

q w e r t y u i o p
a s d f g h j k l
z x c v b n m

and i somehow have to remember the pedagogy
sequence of:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z?
i seriously don't think that helps...
when... the mandarins have to remember...
syllables made into ideograms...
and if they have a baggage of 5, 000 or so...
they can settled for: a liberating IQ...

what good is the orthodoxy of a strict alphabetic
sequence...
when: oh look...          the words do not exactly
expect me to state: a-b-c-s-u
perhaps: but who's going to take notice
of an abacus?
again... what good is the alphabet ordeal?
you have to... always...
refrain from the already apparent:
memory erosion it implies...
unless... it's how you strain a sharpening
of acumen when words need to become
raindrops... and exact a worthiness of a sentence:
hardly unlikely...
how does: hardly look?
alphabetically it looks like...
a d h l r y        
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

even if i write our QWERTY in a linear fashion...
but of course i won't...

q w e r t y u i o p a s d f g h j k l z x c v b n m
(better?)

- how does it, "look" like?
i don't know... i'm looking at the screen
and my fingers are itching for the next
letter in pseudo-Braille...
which: Christopher Latham Sholes
invented...
oh just a minor thing...
it's not... a lightbulb... it's not penicilin...
lucky for some of us... and Plato:
no one knows about the man who came up
with beer... or the man who came up with...
flour and how: eggs... water...
and bread...
lucky for us...
well: no one invented salt...
but those "other" men cannot be world renowned...
or occupy the myths of envy...
solomon and the harem... and some wisdom...
oh sure: the wisest of them all...
are the ones who had it all...
and then deciding: best to scale down...
started to: spook... and spew...
but then there's that insatiable hunger:
for never having it to begin with...
how the hell does it matter...
scaling down... giving it all up...
as wise as a nail's head...
when a hammer starts to inverse-pluck it into
a rubber skin of soaked wood...

there are 26... you make up your own
sequence of "events"...
in that: words are events in themselves...
better having a jist for them
than... a sequence of letters...
that don't even come close...
to be asssured of... a memory capacity /
erosion for... keeping...
ahem...
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolca noconiosis...

would you like toothpicks and hyphens
with that?
either you, or me: but most certainly me:
pneumono-ultra-microscopic-silico-v olcano-coniosis...
looks better:
funny thing about "english"...
where is saxon-"anglicanism" retained
to fully exhort... it comparison with modern...
german... word custard of spelling
and: hardly any hyphen application?

chemistry...
only when it comes to coordinates
in compounds...
otherwise... hydro... no... wait... Tintin is about...
a word that's almost
an alphabet:
methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminyl arginyl
no hyphnes... i'm not that bothered...
bbout 525 results (0.39 seconds) on google...
when was the last time i was about to googlewhack?

it's apparent: the "fun" is over...
back to the plateau of... non-events and...
yeah: hardly a word beside that
in the prosaic...
what of rhyme?
what of that... everything has to
be pristined: boxed and allocated an index?
MatthewConrad
Written by MatthewConrad (bilingual-zoid)
Published
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