A Mother's Love

They say a little white lie could never hurt a fly,    
But I dare to disagree, and I’m here to tell you why.  
See, I struggle to decipher, deception from the truth,  
And it’s largely because I was lied to so early in my youth.    
When your biggest role model is a strip pole model,    
Slipping sleeping pills into baby bottles—    
Slipping out of the house and back to the club    
To chase another hit of crack, or track another dub.    
…but what I needed was a mother’s love.    
See, those little white lies became great big secrets:    
A Titanic falsehood where loose lips could sink ships,    
Until I was drowning in a sea of her lies...    
No longer able to distinguish truth from disguise    
Mother... MOTHER! Couldn't you hear my cries?    
All I needed was someone to throw me a raft, to show me the path;    
Instead, I suffered repercussions of a selfish mother's wrath.    
And, though I've learned much about love and forgiveness,    
She's relapsed again, so I've had to relive this.    
How could you do this again?    
My trust was crushed at such an impressionable age,    
Like a domestic duck, I'm stuck, in this inequitable cage;    
Fuck, just learning to manage my inevitable rage    
Is an ongoing battle that I must steadily wage.    
Never having a good role model for trust and affection    
Has permanently altered my perception, faulted by deception,    
Now, I struggle with human connection, my dejection...    
When she was supposed to be the one to ensure my protection.    
I live with this affliction as product of her addiction
Written by NewBeginnings
Author's Note
This one is really personal to me... Speaking on my trust issues and their roots; but, I'm learning and growing into a better person every day.

EDIT: Best viewed on a computer screen.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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